Little Spy | Peter Parker ✓

[36]

THE NEXT MORNING, MY MIND HAD BEEN MADE UP. It was not truly in the way I felt,  but in the way, I needed to feel in order to do the right thing. That was what needed to be done and there was no other way. If my carefully thought up plan was going to work, I had to break my own heart permanently and many others temporarily, and then some. I needed to cause pain in the moment so that later on, the people I cared about could be happy. It was not how I wanted to make things work nor how I wanted to end my 'life' at Midtown High, but it was the only path possible in my position. I knew that and had known it from the very start, even if I wouldn't admit it to myself.

Still, that did not mean my night had not been spent in tears, rocking myself back and forth long after the wee hours of the night as the cold stars burned a steady light above me. Just because it was the right thing to do did not mean it got better or easier to do, and even as I stood awkwardly alone, bruised arms tucked safely away in a jacket, I wanted to run and keep the truth all for myself.

I tapped a foot on the ground impatiently and waited for Peter to show to ask me his 'mysterious' question - one I already knew everything about - and for me to give him my answer. I knew exactly what was about to happen, whenever he arrived, and I had prepared myself to give the answer that was necessary. Peter would in no doubt hate me after I said it, but that was fine and maybe even easier for me and his own wellbeing. 

It wasn't like him to take his time; Peter was the type of boy who worried about what people thought of him and thus made sure he had time to spare, and being late would only make things worse for him, in his mind.

"Hey!" 

The boy finally showed, wearing a nervous grin and a nice shirt - surprising for a normal school day. "Sorry. I didn't mean to keep you waiting - traffic was bad."

I just shrugged and forced my thin-lips to spread into a smile. "It's fine, don't worry about it."

"Oh, okay."

We walked slowly down the hall, empty compared to how it normally was. It was so early that the only people around were half asleep, snoring, or drugged up on coffee and weed - some, all three. I supposed that was what the boy was going for; it was presumably too awkward to suggest going somewhere else, and less embarrassing in front of hundreds of peers. Were I in a mood to care, I'd feel bad, but for now, the anxious thoughts overpowered any of that.

"So," I began, glancing to my right to look at the boy like I hadn't a clue, "what was your question? You seemed to be quite insistent on here and now, so, I'm eager to hear what was so important to Spiderman himself."

He sighed, not speaking for a second, seemingly figuring out where he wanted to go with his answer. "Actually - okay, just - let me finish, and...don't be too harsh?"

We paused in a smaller portion of the hallway, one devoid of people and cleaner, too. I tried to imagine my feet were glued to the stone-grey tiles, so I couldn't run - even though it seemed like the easiest option. "Of course, why would I?"

"Right. Well, um, see - uh, dammit. I..." the boy was nervous about his words, unsure of the answer he'd receive, and it made it harder and harder to hold onto the plan. "I...do you want to go...out sometime? Not just to the library or pizza - although pizza's great, pizza's fine if you want pizza - but I thought like as a thing that two do - the two of us, of course - when they have...feelings for one another. Wait, that didn't -"

"I-"

"-let me finish," he pleaded. "I think you're a great person and I really like you, Emily. I don't know if you feel the same way but I'm hoping you do and I think you do by the way you were talking about our moment and all that - but - um - I want to be more than just...project partners. I don't know what that even means or if you know what I mean, but-"