Dragon Dreams

Chapter 5: Finding a New Normal (2/2)

After breakfast, I had an idea. "Hey, Dad," I said, "can you grab your measuring tape and measure me? I want to know how big I am."

"No problem," he said. "I'm a bit curious myself."

Soon he was back and I laid myself down in our main hallway to get measured. My total length from nose to tail was around twelve feet, over five feet of which was my tail. My upright standing height (not including horns) was close to where I guessed at seven feet. On all fours, I stood just under five feet. My wings were the hardest to measure because I needed so much room to spread them out. When I finally found a suitable position, one extended into the kitchen while the other was draped over the couch in the living room.

"A little over sixteen feet, wow," my dad said when he read the numbers. "You're lucky I've even got a tape that long."

"Gosh, that big?" I mused, carefully folding my wings. "I guess they have to be so they can get this giant lizard off the ground."

"Here's another thing to take care of while you've got the tools out," Mom said. "Can you dull down your, um, talons or whatever you call them before they mark up my floor?"

"Okay, Mom," I said, rolling my eyes and continuing sarcastically. "With your son having turned into a dragon, I totally understand that you would immediately think of preserving your floors." I smiled at her and she gave an amused shrug. Fortunately, Dad had a pretty good file in his toolbox that would work perfectly. I grabbed it and a trashcan and went to work, sitting in a chair in the corner of the living room.

Dulling down my claws was more difficult than I expected. I started with my feet and quickly found that it took a couple minutes of filing to take the sharp point off each talon. The work was also pretty uncomfortable. Eventually, I got done with all the claws on my hands and feet, leaving a good amount of black dust in the trashcan. Now, I wouldn't accidentally tear into things or hurt anybody. Although they weren't sharpened, I would still have to get used to my new claws. I felt like they could still do some damage if I wasn't careful where I put them. Admittedly, I also thought they looked really cool.

In my pocket, my phone buzzed a few times. When I pulled it out, I realized that I couldn't use the screen with my claws anymore. "Guess I'll need to use a stylus or something from now on," I thought. "Even though the claws look cool, this is a time where I wish I had my fingers. Though I feel lucky that my hands still have thumbs." Even though I couldn't respond, I figured it was just Scott or Roderick asking where I was. I could chat with them later on my laptop though I wondered what I should tell them after what happened.

"Hey, Josh, honey," Mom said, "your father and I are going up to get ourselves ready. We were thinking we could have a sort of family meeting before lunch. If there are some things on your mind, you can bring them up then. Hopefully, we can get a few things sorted out and make a plan to move forward. So feel free to go collect your thoughts until then."

"Okay, Mom," I said. "I'll get to work on a list of things to talk about." This meeting would be important for me to get my feelings heard and for my family to voice their concerns as well. I went back up to my room to think.

I paced back and forth while a million thoughts bounced around in my head. Most of them revolved around the fact that, from now on, my life would probably never be normal. Would I ever be able to show my face in public again? Was I dangerous? What new urges and instincts would emerge and could I control them? Then there was the matter of Rofar and the dreams. Were there other dragons in the world that could talk to me? Or was I alone? The last question made me pause. I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed my palms to my forehead, taking a few deep breaths. Instead of the escape I had dreamed of, what if my change had doomed me to be a prisoner?

The avalanche of thoughts and fears suddenly overwhelmed me, and I broke down crying for the second time that morning. Throwing myself onto my bed, I buried my face in my pillows. Just a few minutes ago I had been enjoying an almost-normal breakfast with my family. But the pretense of things being ordinary had been shattered. Even my guttural sobs were a constant reminder of how different I was. For a while, I lay there. Fear, genuine fear, was something I had never experienced like this before.

Eventually, I picked myself up and left the bed for my desk. I decided to write down some of these feelings to share with my family later. My picture of Rofar, which I had taken out while telling my story earlier, was still sitting there. Looking at his expression of friendly curiosity made me feel better somehow. It was as if he was still there for me, even if he only existed in my dreams. I pushed the drawing aside.

I had a pretty good list of questions after a few minutes of writing. Just getting everything out of my head relieved some of my anxiety. More than ever I wanted to throw open my curtains and flood the room with light. It would have been so nice to look out over the bay and admire the landscape. But that view was a luxury I couldn't afford with the risk of being seen. I decided to put on some music instead to make me feel a little better.

In the time left before the family gathering, I cleaned up my room a little bit. I threw away the ripped underwear that I had been wearing before the change and made my bed. When that was done, I decided to open up one of the books I had been reading. There was a corner of my room with my bookshelf and a comfy chair where I would always read. That space, with its pages full of stories, was the closest thing I had found in the real world to an escape. I looked down at my scaly arms and thought, "Maybe I should have let the dragons stay in the books where they belong." I sighed. "But no, I just had to experience that escape for myself." I picked up a book and sat down contentedly.

I have always been an introvert, preferring books and music to people in general. Solitude is something I find comforting and often refreshing. Navigating the real world, with its swirling crowds of people and conversation and noise, is often a challenge for me. When I'm with close friends, like Scott and Roderick, I can open up, but otherwise I usually keep my head down. When I thought about the possibility of going outside in my current state, it made me sick to my stomach. Keeping a low profile would be as impossible as unscrambling an egg (food was already on my mind again). "I'll have to venture outside sometime, won't I?" I thought to myself. Or else I would essentially be a prisoner in my house, with fear and paranoia forever holding the keys to my cell.

The book distracted me from my train of thought for a while. But when I put it down, the dark clouds of uneasiness crept back into my mind. On an impulse, I went over to the obscured window near my desk and peeked through a tiny gap in the curtains. I was confident that I would remain invisible to the outside. It was almost hypnotizing to see the neighborhood hum along. These people had no idea I even existed. They didn't share my troubles. "Nobody has my problems!" I thought, envying every normal person out there.

I turned away. Just then I heard my mom's voice from the hallway. The time to get together as a family had arrived. I was nervous. Everything seemed so fragile, as if my world were balanced on a knife's edge. I felt like if I weren't careful, everything would fall apart. But I also knew my family would fight to protect me if anything should happen. So I steeled myself, grabbed my list of discussion points from my desk, and walked downstairs. It was time to talk.

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