Dragon Dreams

Chapter 6: Family Matters (2/2)

"Thanks," I said, placing a paw gently on top of her hand. "Is it alright if I go back up now? I think I just need to take a break for today."

Dad nodded and said, "Go ahead, take whatever time you need. We really appreciate your willingness to talk. I think it's best for us to keep everything open and honest."

When I got back upstairs, I lay down on my bed and listened to some music. It was nice to just tune out and not have to think for a bit. After a while, I went over to my desk and opened my laptop. Typing on the keyboard felt weird, and I had to plug in a mouse to navigate, but it wasn't that hard to get used to. I looked at the day's news headlines. No mentions of a dragon sighting in suburban Washington, so that was a relief.

Before long, there was a knock on my door. I figured it was my mom bringing me some lunch; after all, I could smell everything cooking from my room. The four grilled cheese sandwiches she delivered were heaven on a plate. I was also pleased to see the large pile of chips and the ice-cold soda that came with it. I thanked her and she had hardly shut the door before I chowed down. After I had finished the first sandwich in two bites, I forced myself to slow down and savor the food. Some things never change, and the deliciousness of a gooey grilled cheese is one of them.

I felt like one satisfied dragon as I finished the last of my chips and licked the salt off my claws. The internet kept me occupied for a while. Mom and Dad went out to run some errands early in the afternoon, leaving me to stave off boredom with a variety of TV shows. If I was going to be spending a lot of time in the house, streaming TV and reading books would have to suffice for entertainment.

A little later I finally got around to chatting with Scott and Roderick. We had a Facebook group message that we used when we were all online. They asked where I had been and I told them I was just not feeling well.

"You looked fine yesterday. Do you know what it could be?" Scott asked.

"Not sure," I typed back, "but I'm not feeling much better yet."

"Damn, that sucks," Roderick said. "So it's more than a little cold?"

"I guess. I don't really know at this point. Just had a feeling I shouldn't go in today."

"Well, you didn't miss much," Scott said. "Mr. Heller gave back our tests and that was about it."

"I got a solid C+," Roderick said. "It probably should have been a B-, but I guess he didn't think my cartoon of Napoleon was worth any extra credit."

We went on talking for a while. They had no reason to doubt my cover story of illness and mostly talked about other stuff after asking those first few questions. I felt bad for keeping them in the dark, but I wasn't in a position to do anything else. Facebook and white lies would have to do for a while.

My parents came back and gave me some new shorts and a nice, sturdy stylus to use on my phone. Dad also told me he was planning to cook a steak dinner with mashed potatoes (my favorite) and he got a whole extra steak just to serve me. I was delighted and could scarcely keep myself from drooling at the thought of a big, juicy steak that was all mine.

That evening my family tried to distract me from my tough day by letting me do anything I wanted. It was almost like it was my birthday or something. They offered to do dinner and a movie as a family and asked me what I wanted to watch. After thinking it over, I suggested we watch The King's Speech. It is pretty much my favorite movie, and I am a cinematography geek after all. My sister rolled her eyes; I guess I'm predictable when it comes to movie choices.

"I knew you'd pick that," she said. "God, every time! It's either that or Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings, but of course, you don't want to watch anything with dragons it." She gave me a teasing smirk as she said that.

"Yeah?" I shot back playfully, "I almost did pick Harry Potter, but the guy who plays Dumbledore also plays the old king so it's close enough."

The dinner was amazing, but, as Dad was grilling, I almost lost my mind having to deal with the overwhelming smell of cooking meat for so long. I ate my fill of rare steak, potatoes, and crunchy, delicious green beans. Though, by the end of the movie I was constantly yawning, which I imagined was quite a sight with all my teeth.

I excused myself and said I was going to bed. It had been a long day after all. Secluded in my room once more, I started to feel the haze of the evening's distractions melt away. My family had tried their best to gloss over the changes for a while, and I appreciated their empathy. But the things that were said around the table earlier stayed with me. No matter what I did, I would never again lead a normal life. The reminders were everywhere: the stylus that now sat next to my phone, the scissors placed on the pile of new shorts so they could be modified later. It was like having something written on the inside of your eyelids. It's there no matter where you look.

There was nothing left to do but get ready for bed. Tomorrow would bring another sunrise and another day. My life would happen whether I fled from it or not. For now, I just wanted to close my eyes and escape. "How ironic," I thought, "one wish for an escape is granted, and I can't even make it through one day before wanting another."

I got into the shower and sat down, feeling beaten. The hot water felt nice on my scales, running over them in branching rivers. The outer warmth, however, did not dissipate the cold, harsh feelings that gripped me. I just hung my head and stared at my paws. There was so much going on in my life. Yet, all I felt was this consuming hollowness inside. I saw nothing in my future but hiding and loneliness. The water beat down on my face and obscured my tears. I let out a low moan that echoed off the tiled walls.

Then, something strange happened. That sad howl almost started to sound musical. I caught my breath in surprise. I used to love singing in the shower. After losing so much, there was nothing I wanted more in that moment than to sing again. When I closed my eyes and just let the notes ring out, my world almost went back to how it was before everything changed. I recalled the song "Fear" by OneRepublic, one of my favorite artists.

"When we were children we played. Out in the street just temptin' fate," I sang, my voice breaking with emotion. "When we were children we'd sa-a-ay. That we don't know the meaning of...fear. Fe-e-ar. Fe-e-e-ar." The plaintive lyrics resonated with me. I, after all, had not known the meaning of fear until today. Fear was the unknown; fear was the path that lay ahead.

Sitting in the shower, I found catharsis in the crying and singing. After a while, I turned the water off and, after drying myself quickly, wandered back out into my room. Nightfall was a relief to me. I had made it to the end of the longest day of my life. I curled up on my bed—having wings, I wasn't comfortable sleeping on my back anymore—and waited for sleep to pluck me softly from this star-crossed world.

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