Straight Best Friends (Gay Love Story -- In Progress)

14: Curiosity Killed the Jack

"They're hungover," I vaguely heard Mark's voice as i drifted out of sleep. Matt's stinky feet were right in my face. I heard him grunt a little as he woke up as well. I don't think he heard Mark because he immediately stood up just to collapse right next to me and put his arm around me. His breath still smelled of beer.

I heard Matt's mom laughing in the kitchen. "I can tell my oldest is very hungover."

I quickly got up at that. Matt stayed on the couch but I looked at an amused mother of the man I was dating and an unamused Mark. I felt so much guilt. I didn't know what to say to him.

"Morning," I said tiredly, "We had an unexpectedly wild night," I laughed weakly. Mark looked at the ground and turned around. Their mom went upstairs to check on the siblings.

"Mark," I said, "How can I make this better? I don't want you to hate this or hate me."

"I don't hate you Jack. You're one of my favorite people. Just having a hard time understanding it. You two have been best friends since birth pretty much. It doesn't make sense to me. Since when are you gay? Matt I kind of thought he might be -- he's never wanted to date a girl. I think if I had some sort of warning or if I had thought you two were a thing I would be supportive of it and, honestly, you two seem like a perfect match. I guess it just wasn't what I expected to see when I came downstairs for water and I'm trying to process it all."

I paused for a little bit, just looking at him sympathetically. "You know Mark, we're still trying to figure this out as well. I never expected to fall in love with him, but when we both realized our feelings and admitted them to each other, it came together naturally. It's difficult -- how close our families are, being next-door neighbors, both the oldest siblings, both of us in the closet, best friends forever. There are days where I wonder if we are being reckless," I brushed my short but somehow messy hair with my hand, "But in this moment he makes me so happy, and I just wish we hadn't been drunk last night. We wanted to wait until we had been together longer to start telling family. I'm sincerely sorry you had to see that."

"Mark!" Matt quickly jumped off the couch and ran to Mark and gave him a big hug.

"I'm so sorry little bro," Matt said to him, "Please don't hate me. I love you so much and I'm sorry and I just beg of you to forgive me."

Mark laughed a little bit, "Maybe Jack should be the one to do the apologizing. He's much less dramatic."

Matt had tears in his eyes. "I wanted it to be so much more mature than that," he looked like he was in a lot of pain. I put my hand on his back and rubbed it, "Please don't think less of me. Of us. Jack is the best man on this planet, hate me but don't hate him."

"Yeah, you're being dramatic," I laughed and kissed him on the cheek.

We discussed it more and Mark ended up being okay with it. He just needs some time. He promised not to tell anyone until we were ready.

Matt and I went to "the view" and I rubbed and massaged his shoulders. I sat behind him with him in between my legs. I gave him a big hug from behind him and kissed his neck lightly.

"I wanted to be with you last night, you know that?"

He smiled and said lightly and laid his head back to where it was resting on my shoulders, "Would you have laid there with me afterward?"

"I would have laid there the rest of the weekend, held your hand all the way back to Charlottesville (where the University is), and all night in bed. And made you breakfast in the morning and we could eat it together in bed, where I'd still be holding you."

He laughed, "I'm sure it will be incredible when it happens, honey. Don't get me pregnant though. I don't have a stable job."

We both laughed. I nudged him a little, "We'd have some pretty good babies. Messy haired, they'd get their logic from me and their hearts of platinum from you. Talk about a couple of heartbreakers."

He chuckled, "If only."

I smiled and looked to the ground, but a note sticking out of his pocket caught my eye. Playfully, I snatched it from him.

"Jack, no! That's private, " he said.

"Love letter from someone else?" I joked. He tried to grab it back but I was too fast for him. I read it and immediately felt my heart sink.

"Dear Matthew, Thank you for your interest in our company... we are pleased to offer you a position at our New York City Headquarters beginning July 1 with a starting salary of $120,000."

"I haven't decided, I was going to talk to you about this when we got back. I've been so stressed about this Jack.," Matt said. I looked up at him, trying to hide my sadness but it was quite obvious I wasn't happy. But I should have been. Inside my head I kept saying "just act happy you jackass! This has been his dream!", but on the outside I couldn't hide how I was feeling.

I looked to the ground, and thought to myself for a little bit.

"Jack please say something, I want to talk about this. You're so much more important than some city or some job."

"Matt, I'd be one hell of a terrible boyfriend if I made you stay here with me," I mumbled, "With that kind of salary, you'd be living the dream you always had. Why you went to graduate school in the first place."

"At what cost though?," Matt said desperately, "Don't say we can handle distance. So many of our friends have said that and it never works out for them."

"Can we talk about this later? I need some time to think. I love you sweetie," with that I kissed him on the cheek and took a long walk back to my house. I laid down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I couldn't tell what I was thinking or feeling.

Was I upset he might be 10 hours from me? Was I jealous that he had an incredible job offer and I've only had 2 failed interviews? Was I jealous that he was going to spread his wings while I stayed in Roanoke like I thought I wanted? Was he going to find someone else? Will we still be friends if we were to break up?

I laid there for a long time thinking, until my mom came in with a warm blanket.

"You look about as sad as I've ever seen you sweetheart," she said as she put the blanket over me. It was straight out of the dryer, she really knew how to make me feel better.

"Matt got a job offer in New York. I've never not been around him for more than a week that time his family couldn't do our joint trip to Disneyworld. I don't know what to do with him not around."

"Oh Jack, you two will still be close. I feel like he will talk to you more than his wife someday," my mom chuckled a little. I did too, weakly though.

"I don't want to lose him Mom. He's my best friend."

"You won't baby, knowing him he will call you in the morning, at lunch, after work, at dinner, and before bed just to make sure you're okay."

"I hope so," I smiled as I drifted off into a long nap. I felt her kiss my forehead and leave the room.