No One is Happy with This (Undertale)

64 ~ Vulgar Slang

Just as predicted, spending the night at the skeleton family's house is pretty great- even more so than when they were at your house, because now Toriel's not there to put an end to all of Gaster's nefarious plots.

With the pingpong tournament won by your team (Gaster really did everything), the four of you turn your attention to the gaming consoles and end up playing Smash Bros, at which point Gaster reveals one of his "secret projects". Apparently, he's hacked the game and created his own custom character- an awesome skeletal dragon that bears a strong resemblance to his Blasters and breathes purple fire. He's named the character Wyngblaise.

Wyngblaise is totally OP and Gaster totally destroys everyone, but he won't let anyone else use his character- apparently, there's some passcode you have to enter, a long sequence of button-presses on the controller in order to unlock the character.

Eventually, though, Gaster drops out of the game and instead sits on one of the large armchairs, going over some designs for yet another CORE prototype. He says he's getting close, and they should have a working design soon.

He takes frequent breaks, though, watching you, Sans, and Papyrus play, to make some sassy remark about how the match is going.

After a few more matches, Papyrus stops playing, leaving you to fight Sans alone. When you look around between games, you see that Papyrus has snuggled beside Gaster in the armchair and Gaster has set his work aside in favor of cuddling his son. They both look happy- and sleepy. Not wanting to wake them up, you nudge Sans and nod towards them.

Sans gets a funny look on his face. He sets down his game controller, stands up, and walks over to the chair. Next thing you know, he's lying sprawled across Gaster's and Papyrus's laps, looking quite content with himself. Gaster just lets out a kind of happy sound as he wraps an arm around Sans' shoulders.

It's absolutely captivating, and you don't want to take your eyes away even for a second. You think this little skeleton family is the most adorable family you've seen in your life.

Eventually, you tear yourself away to go to bed. As you're climbing the stairs, you can't help but wonder how often they all fall asleep together like that, and how often they actually go to bed.

You're willing to bet the former is more common, and you fall asleep with a smile on your face, thinking about just how amazing this family is.

In the morning, it's a nice change to wake up on your own, and not to Flowey's screeching. Though, you can't help but pity Toriel, who's most likely been woken up by the noise in lieu of you.

When you come downstairs, you find Papyrus and Gaster attempting to cook breakfast.

Well. Papyrus is actually cooking, having taken lessons since coming to the surface, and Gaster is... Being Gaster. He acts like he knows perfectly well what he's doing, but is clearly showing that he's not much better at cooking than Papyrus was when he was in the Underground. Of course, Papyrus, being Papyrus, somehow manages to incorporate everything Gaster does into his recipe, and the waffles still end up tasting pretty decent. They're not even too crunchy.

Then Gaster is off to the lab, Sans close behind. Papyrus, meanwhile, goes with you to the park, in hopes of teaching you to use Magic. He's convinced he'll do a little better job than Undyne's... suplexing things.

He definitely does have a better method at it than she does. He summons a few attacks to show you, then kneels down beside you and guides you through the steps, showing you where he would place his feet and swing his arm, tracing a line from your chest to your fingertips, telling you to try pulling the Magic along your body.

You spend a few hours doing this, encouraged by Papyrus's enthusiasm. Eventually, Sans and Gaster show up on a lunch break or something.

Gaster grins when he sees how Papyrus is trying to teach you. "That's what we did. Remember, Sans?"

Sans nods. "yeah. after the whole 'figure it out yourself' thing, of course."

They argue in good humor for a minute about how useful Gaster's help had been back then, before Gaster cuts off Sans' argument with a wave.

"Anyway, Frisk, something occurred to me. Before monsters were sealed Underground, Magic-wielding humans were a lot more common, but none of them ever tried to do what you're doing- channeling Magic outright. They always had rune-inscribed objects to help channel the Magic for use. It's entirely possible that your Soul alone is simply incapable of conducting Magic through your body without an external focus to influence the--" Gaster cuts himself off upon noting the blank expression on your face. He sighs, and rubs at his nasal bone a little.

Sans simplifies for you: "he's saying that your soul can't direct magic alone, so you'll need something like a staff with runes to help you."

Your eyes widen. "Like a wizard...?"

This time, Gaster outright smacks his palm against his face, letting his hand drag down across his face. "... Yes. Like a-... wizard."

You frown. "What, you don't like wizards?"

"Magic-wielder is the proper term. 'Wizard' is a vulgar slang word that was derived from the whizzing noise certain Magic projectiles made."

You frown a little. You don't want to use vulgar slang words (the horror), but Magic-wielder is a bit of a mouthful. "What about a mage?"

Gaster's frown deepens. "Some idiot shortened it to Magi instead of Magic-wielder, and from there, it was mispronounced into mage. So, also wrong."

"Sorcerer?"

"Some religious people started worshipping Magic as the creator and source of all life, and thus called Magic-wielders sorcerers. Still unacceptable."

You hesitate. "Witch?"

Surprisingly, Gaster just shrugs. "Don't know about that one, though I will say there's a reason that's generally used as an insult. People who went with that title generally managed to gain themselves a bad reputation."

You can't really find anything to argue against that. So you sigh. "Fine. Magic-wielder." Then you perk up a little. "But if I use a staff, I'll be able to use Magic?"

"A rune inscribed staff. And maybe, not definitely."

"Well... where do I get one of those?"

Gaster gives you a vaguely annoyed look. "... I'll do some research, I suppose."

You just run over and hug him, even though he doesn't hug you back, instead just awkwardly patting your head.

§

A/N

I honestly have no idea if Gaster's theories on the origins of Magic-wielders' titles are true. I just came up with them on the spot.

Anyway, thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it! Comments and votes are my Favorite Things, and every notification I get makes my day!