AN: Don't ask how the shack became Stan's, because I don't know. IDK how this stuff works, I'm only 14.
Also, the way Stan deals with people asking for tours of his brothers house is similar to the way Mabel deals with the same thing in Relativity Falls. He can't say that he's his brother, because he does have a girlfriend and kids, and I feel like that would be kinda hard to explain.
"Hey, Stan?"
"Hm?" Stan looked up from his coffee.
"We... might have a problem here," Bella bit her lip.
"What?" Stan asked, looking over the papers on the table.
"I don' think I make enough money with my books ta... be able to pay fer this place," Bella explained. "Most of the money goes ta... pay fer stuff fer... Ella and Marcella. We need another source'a income if we wanna stay here. A big source'a income."
"Alright. I'll try to find a way to earn money," Stan said. "But what about the portal?"
"If ya wanna fix the portal, we need the money to stay here," Bella sighed. "Oh, do ya think you could run out and get some milk please? We're all out."
"Yeah, I'll head out in a bit," Stan nodded.
-----
Stan pulled his hood up over his head, ignoring the strange looks he got from the townsfolk. He reached the local convenience store (Dusk 2 Dawn) and got a gallon of milk, setting it on the counter.
"Just the milk then there, stranger?" The woman at the register (her name tag read 'Ma') asked. "That'll be a dollar sixty."
Stan pulled out two dollars and was about to pay when a woman nearby spoke up.
"Hey, that's no stranger," the woman smiled. "That must be the mysterious science guy that lives in the woods!"
"Uh, n-no, you've got the wrong guy," Stan mumbled as a crowd formed. "Th-That's my brother..."
"I've heard strange stories about that old shack," a man said.
"Yeah! Mysterious lights and spooky experiments," another man added.
"Gosh, I'd pay anything to see what kind of shenanigans your brother gets up to in there," an old man (his name tag said 'Pa') said.
"Oh me too!" The first woman agreed. "Does he ever give tours?"
"N-no, not really..." Stan began, but then perked up with an idea. "But I do! Ten- nah, no- fifteen bucks a person!"
The crowd stood in silence for a moment before cheering and holding out money. Stan's eyes widened and he grinned happily.
"What did you say your name was, you man of mystery?" The woman asked.
"Oh, uh, Stanley," Stan answered. "Stanley Pines."
-----
"Here we are, folks," Stan announced once they reached the house. "Now let me just, uh, finish up a few things for the tour real quick."
He hurried inside, leaving the crowd out in front of the house.
"Hey Stan," Bella greeted, frowning in confusion. "Where's the milk?"
"Ok, I didn't get milk, but I did get a way to earn money," Stan explained quickly. "I need you stay with the twins, though, and make sure they don't make too much noise."
"O...k?" Bella said slowly. "But-"
"Thanks babe," Stan interrupted, giving her a quick kiss before leaving the room. "I promise I'll explain everything later!"
He hurried back outside and led the crowd into the messy house.
"Step right up folks, uh, to a world of... enchantment or whatever," Stan announced. "Behold, the um, nerdy science box."
The first woman bent down to look at the box and it zapped her eyelid shut.
"Ah! My eye!" She cried.
"Uh, I can assure you, that is in no way permanent," Stan lied nervously.
"I paid fifteen dollars for this?!" The woman yelled angrily. The crowd began to mutter.
"Uh..." Stan nervously grabbed a skeleton, a Hawaiian shirt, and a pair of funny sunglasses. "You're lucky you weren't part of the last tour group. Um," he showed off the skeleton, which was dressed in the clothes, "they never made it out aliiiivve! Hehe. Right?"
The crowd laughed and Stan smiled proudly.
-----
"Babe, guess what?" Stan grinned when he entered the twins' room. Both girls were up from their nap, and Bella was sitting playing with them.
"Yer gonna explain why Ah had ta sit in here fer half an hour?" Bella asked.
"That too," Stan said. He pulled Bella to her feet and spun her around before pulling her into a kiss. Bella laughed and smiled into the kiss, and Ella and Marcella giggled as they watched their parents. "I figured out a way to earn enough money to pay for the house!"
"Really?" Bella gasped happily. "By what?"
"How would you feel about having a tourist trap for a home?"
-----
"And... done," Stan grinned as he stuck the last sign into the ground in front of the house. There were signs around for miles advertising what Stan called the Murder Hut. "That's the last one."
"Daddy, wassat?" Ella asked, waddling over with a sippy cup.
"That," Stan began, lifting Ella up and tickling her stomach, causing the toddler to screech and giggle, "is our key to being rich!"
"And hopefully it works out," Bella chuckled, walking over. Marcella followed behind her. "I gotta admit, hehe. This does seem kinda cool."
"Only kinda?" Stan teased. Bella chuckled and rolled her eyes.
"So what're you gonna do fer, attractions?" She asked, looking up at the house.
"I dunno, probably just put some weird-lookin' stuff together," Stan shrugged. "The people in this town don't seem too smart. They'd probably fall for anything."
"Heh. Or jus' find it entertainin'," Bella chuckled.
"Either way, I can tell that this is gonna make us rich," Stan grinned.
YOU ARE READING
Mullet Man
FanfictionCover by @ravenclaw-at-heart Stan had long since accepted that he would never have a long-term girlfriend. After all, he always messed everything up, and he was basically a criminal. Who would want to date him? However, that never stopped him from t...
