Unfortunate Events

The Mini Epilogue

Magical Matrimony or Mayhem:

Pureblood Prince and Potter's Princess Wed Amid Scandal of Secret Love Child

By Rita Skeeter

(Disclaimer from the editor: The Daily Prophet is legally obligated to inform its readers that Ms. Skeeter's opinions are those of her own and do not reflect those of this fine paper.)

Since the announcement of the Granger-Malfoy engagement two weeks ago, Britain's wizarding world has been abuzz with excitement. Indeed, it is hard to recall a time when the nuptials between wizard and witch have been so intensely anticipated or scrutinized. With public opinion softening towards the Malfoy family since the Malfoy heir began dating Britain's most famous Muggleborn roughly one year ago, no couple has so captivated the wizarding world apart from Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley. As The Boy Who Lived has no future plans to wed the youngest Weasley—his girlfriend of nearly five years who the tabloids have playfully dubbed "Waiting Foreva Genevra"—it is easy to see why.

In spite of such great public interest, very little is known about the nuptials themselves. What information has been leaked has caused many a wizard and witch to scratch their heads. Given the tremendous wealth of the groom's family, many assumed the Malfoy-Granger nuptials would be a lavish spectacle on par with the opulent affairs typical of pureblood weddings pre-Voldemort, and even that of the groom's parents. Instead, the Malfoy-Granger wedding theme seemed to focus on thrift and practicality in shocking fashion. The ceremony and reception took place in one of the Malfoy's smaller properties in France. As for the wedding cake, rather than contracting with a local bakery, reliable sources inform us that Molly Weasley made the chocolate raspberry confection. The wedding party was no more impressive, consisting of a paltry two people, with Blaise Zabini serving as Best Man and Ginny Weasley as the Maid of Honour. Perhaps the bride and groom have fewer friends to call upon than previously thought. Alternately, some speculate the jealousy of the bride and groom would not permit others to be invited into the bridal party.

Conventional wisdom dictated that the Malfoy bride be as spectacularly outfitted as Narcissa Black had been nearly twenty five years ago when she married into the Malfoy family. Her dress—a one-of-a-kind creation from Twilfitt and Tattings—was constructed of the finest French silk and boasted of a 25 foot train, an equally long veil, and a twenty pound sequined head piece. Instead, the ever-sensible Gryffindor bucked society rules altogether and wore a hand-me-down dress nearly fifty years old, presumably made of cotton, though as the bride in question refused to comment for this article we cannot verify that particular detail. While this purposeful simplicity may seem incomprehensible to the wizarding world, it must be assumed this is some quaint Muggle custom meant to accommodate the wishes of the bride's parents. As the Muggle saying goes, 'Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.' Clearly the dress falls into the old and borrowed categories. It can only be speculated what the bride wore that was new and/or blue (see page 5 for more information).

The guest list contained many Hogwarts alumni and faculty, as well as family of the bride and groom, though those present numbered less than one hundred people. It has been rumoured that the original invite list was much greater, but potential attendees were still wary of associating with the Malfoys. Alternately it has been posited that Granger alienated many of her co-workers with her abrupt departure from the Ministry of Magic.

While much speculation still surrounds the wedding, one thing not up for debate was the presence of a small boy who looked suspiciously like both Hermione and Draco Malfoy. The young ring bearer possessed curly blond hair and grey eyes, and according to our sources more than one individual commented that he looked like the offspring of the newly married couple. If true, it would explain why the Malfoy-Granger engagement and wedding seemed to be conducted so quickly and secretly. If true, the actual wedding has been in the work for years and was not rushed at all. However, secrecy would have been needed to keep the scandal of a love child from the public.