Chapter Sixty-One

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"Gonna take her for a ride on a big jet plane..."

Song: Big Jet Plane

Artist: Angus and Julia Stone

I don't even know what to say other than I'm sorry for taking this long to update.

READ MY AUTHORS NOTE AT THE BOTTOM BECAUSE THERE IS INFO GIVEN ABOUT THE ENDING OF LIKE TOTALLY! READ IT PLEASE SO THERE WON'T BE MANY OF THE SAME QUESTIONS ASKED! THANK YOU!

Bye.

Happy Reading!

CHAPTER SIXTY-ONE:

Adrian:

I hope you never have to hear the sound of a machine flat-lining. Seriously. I say that with the utmost meaning because it's not something that one enjoys. When you're in the hospital, it's a sign of death. A signal to alert everyone around you that you're gone and you have no way of possibly coming back. You're gone, and there is nothing that anyone can do about it.

But sometimes, there is hope. I'm not trying to be all unrealistic but faith was on my side. Somehow, someway... faith managed to be on my side. If I make it through all of this and I'm able to get back into my body, I will spend the rest of my life thanking God everyday. Even when I got to a point of not knowing what I truly wanted to do.

When I say that, I mean living or dying. A part of me just wants to throw my whole life away because I had a good run and now I'm over everything. I lived my teen years to the fullest, I fell in love, and I experienced all sorts of drama that could've been dished out and I handled it to a point where I became too tired to deal with anymore. Death would be the only way out. Right?

That's just one part of me. The other part still wants to thrive. The other part still wants to live on. See if Colton and I make it through everything like I see us doing. Wondering if the boys will all make it to their professional football teams while Sophia and I root them on as we dance on the sidelines. I want to see it all but since I'm a ghost... I have no idea what to do.

Figure out something. Anything. It's not that easy. If only I could understand things easily. Living in limbo doesn't come with any sort of manual and if it does then please direct me to it because I need help. A lot of help. I don't know how much longer I can endure sitting in this corner for another four hours.

I can't do it.

I can't.

"God," I manage to call out into the silent hospital room.

The heart monitor beside my still body in the bed tracking my life right before my eyes. "I need help. I know, I know, I know that it's selfish of me to ask for such a thing. That it's selfish of me to come running to you when I never acknowledge you for the simple things you do for me but I don't know what else to do. I don't even know what to say to you because this is a bit awkward." Yeah, it is.

"Can you please just help me? Please. I'll make up for all the trouble that I've been putting you through. I'll apologize to my mom for throwing out her favorite vase on accident at our last yard sale and whenever I see my dad, not Matthew, but my dad-dad... I'll tell him that his red and black printed tie really does make him look like a drug lord."

You should've told him that a long time ago. I know. It's just that he loved the tie so much and I didn't want to make upset him.

"Honestly, now that I think about it... I need your answer to a really tough question. Can you please decide if you're going to take me or not? The emotional rollercoaster that everyone is having to endure because of me isn't really fun. Especially, when I can't help them worth shit to get through it. I mean, y-you're God. You have an answer for everything. I don't know what you're trying to do but I don't know if I want to continue on to understand, either."

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