Speech |a.f.i au|

0.3

Rene

I don't necessarily despise therapy appointments, but I don't necessarily look forward to them either.

Freshmen year wasn't a good year for me. My father was on his first deployment and I was getting harassed by a few of my peers due to my stutter and how bad I would shake in the middle of class. My anxiety was so high that I could hardly handle living.

That year, I had my first and worst panic attack. I was sitting in advanced government when I felt my stomach drop and beads of sweat began to drip down my forehead. I don't really remember much after that. I am aware that my breathing became rapid and my vision blurry. According to many people, I started screaming and then I fainted.

I haven't had many panic attacks after that. But that was enough to land me in the hospital and get a few boys suspended. My time in the hospital wasn't fun. My blood pressure was entering into hypertension one and my doctor, at the time, suggested I'd see a therapist regularly.

"That's a big step, Rene. We're both proud of you." Dr. Brigs tells me. Dr. Reynolds nods in agreement and gives me a smile. I had told them about how I went to the Speech and Debate meeting today and how I planned on going to the next meeting.

Though they were happy to hear that, they wanted to discuss my dad's deployment. As that's when my stutter initially started during his first one, and that's when my anxiety went through the roof.

Dr. Brigs suggested I keep a dream journal and subscribed me Temazepam, which was a medication that would treat insomnia

...

Tuesday rolls around and I was currently sitting in the Speech and Debate meeting. Mr. Winston had us all separate from each other. Mainly to get the Australian posse to stop disrupting.

To Madi and I's amusement, Mr. Winston seated Abbey next to Luke. They were both crossing their arms avoiding all eye contact.

Madi was in between Calum and Michael, with Shianne and Jordan next to them. A new girl, by the name of Luna, sat to the right of Michael. I was sitting by Ashton and I kept watching Madi making winky faces towards me.

Ashton was someone I always admired. Last year, when I missed the bus, Ashton gave me a ride home but not before having me put on his jacket because it started to snow outside.

A lot of people loved Ashton, he went through a lot his sophomore year but he never let that defined him.

Madi called me out one day, junior year, for staring at Ashton. Of course in private, but it was enough to make the blood rush to my cheeks.

"Hey," I turn my head to be greeted with a bright smile. Ashton's hazel eyes meet mine and I feel my palms begin to sweat. I rub the pads of my fingers against my palms and take a deep breath.

"Hey Ashton," I whisper, mentally complimenting myself for not stuttering. He pats my shoulder gently and I can feel my cheeks getting hot. I turn and see Abbey staring at me, a smirk on her lips.

I shake them off and continue to listen to Mr. Winston who currently had his mouth filled with a chocolate chip cookie.

"So I'm gonna have Abbey hand you all papers, and it's for your parents to sign." There is a brief moment of silence before Abbey stands up and collects a stack of orange papers from the desk. She doesn't pass them out, instead, she takes a seat, grabbing a sheet for herself and harshly passing it to Luke.

As I wait for the papers to get passed around, Mr. Winston makes his way to the board and starts writing down times and different locations.

"Competition time is coming, pretty girl," Ashton whispers to me, his shoulder brushing against me. I can't help but giggle and cover my face with my hands. Ashton was incredibly charming and he would always make people feel important.