Saving Grace {Haylor}

Cop Car

Harry sits in the back of the cop car cuffed. The only reason I'm not with him in there is because Sheriff Jenkins has known me since I was little. "Look, we didn't mean any harm I promise. Please, just let us go and we'll be leaving."

"You sure about that?" Sheriff tips his hat back an folds his arms infront of himself.

"Have you ever known me to do anything bad... Ever?" I ask and when he doesn't have a response I kick back into gear. "That's what if thought!"

"But I don't know him. who is he? And why is he here with you?"

I roll my eyes. "Come on now sheriff. He's working with my dad for the summer. We didn't mean any harm I promise." The colour changing lights are starting to hurt my head.

"We're gonna need his name and registration. If he even has registration... Whose truck is this anyways?" He says and I nearly want to whip the sarcasm from his face.

"It's his aunts. The one he's staying with. Mrs. Mayler. The one who bakes your precious doughnuts." I glare and to be honest now I'm just pissed off. Without hesitation I grab his wallet from the truck and the registration, pushing into the hands of the sheriff. "And now. If you mind." I walk to the cop car and open the door, Harry stares up at me with crazy wide eyes. I'm suddenly slammed into the side of the door and before I can even object my wrists are in matching handcuffs behind my back and I'm pushed in beside Harry. I let out a scream but it's not any good to the car door being closed in my face.

"I'll be calling your father." He says through the windows and I just glare.

"Sheriff." I plead. "My dad will fire him if this happens. Come on now. You've known me since before I could even talk. Doesn't this give us some ground to cover?"

"You were on private property. What don't you understand about that?!"

I know the only way to get out of this is cry. So with one quick glance I look at Harry. The misguided look of puppy dog on his face. And then I look back at the Sheriff who stands at the door, dialling a number which I assume is the station. "Sheriff, do you remember Karlie." And the way I say her name it comes out like I cry. It's not something I intended but that's what happened. "Do you remember my big sister? The one that took her life a year ago."

He looks down through the window and if anything the glare on this glass are just making my tears stand out more. "My god has it already been a year?"

I nod. "A year and a few weeks actually. And I'm sorry. Honestly I am. But things at home are crazy and grieving is worse than ever. I've been dealing with it in a different way and it lead me here. I didn't intend on breaking any rules. I promise."

Sherif looks at me intensely before sliding his phone back into his pocket and re opening the door. The handcuffs come off of me and then off of Harry, who quickly takes my hand as if he's ready to run as soon as I say. Unlike earlier when I offered and he said the only good thing would be telling a good story to our children someday. I don't think he means our children together, I think he means generally. Although I think.

We're let go with a strong warning and we leave just as quick as we came. "Well that was worth the drive. When you said adventure I didn't think you meant we'd get arrested."

I shove his alarm and the tires jerks against the dirk road. "We didn't get arrested! No thanks to you, by the way!" I point out and he just chuckles and rolls his eyes.

"I just realized I never got to finish why I wanted to say." I'm confused at first and have to wait for him to clear it up. "About your sister."

"Oh." My reaching heart slows down to something much more levelled and I'm not even sure what to say. "Well then, continue I guess."

"I'm sure your sister was an amazing girl." He says, looking at me over his shoulder. "Especially if she was related to you."

"She was." I say with a forced smile.

"But ya know, you can't beat yourself over her actions. You can't let yourself feel the blame. She took her life you didn't." In a weird way I want to shout at him, like how could he possibly know anything. But instead I let him talk. "Survivors guilt is one of the worst things out there. But you can't let it destroy you. What she did, was something you couldn't stop. You wouldn't have been able to even if you had of been there with her and tried. You could have maybe subsided the pain but it was bound to happen at some point."

Tears are in my eyes but I don't have the energy to form competing words. "How would you know that."

"Because I felt it." It's not what I expect him to say. I hardly even realize I had replied myself. He doesn't say anything and I wonder if I should ask. Instead of me having to break the silence he completes my thoughts. "My mother took her life when I was eight." The words come out so dry that it seems like he doesn't have a problem with it, yet I swear he has tears in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry." I mumble and I feel like bad. How could a mother leave her child? How could a mother leave their child in this cruel world and make them fight this on their own. I was never particularly close with my mom but I would be beside myself if she had ever done a thing like that. A mother is the rock of the family. The O+. How could she?

He brushes off my apology and dives into details. "After mom passed, dad was a mess. I didn't fully understand and Gemma went crazy. My father turn to drinking and I soon lost my perspective of family. I blamed myself for my mother taking her life. I blamed myself for my dad's bad habits and I blamed myself for not stopping Gemma when she was out partying every other night. I was a kid, but I was the rock. The responsible one. I soon lost myself on who I was and who I was supposed to be. Somewhere caught up in who I thought I was. My life was messed up, I'll be first to admit that. But as time came around, I had to stop blaming myself because all I was doing was running myself into the ground."

I squeeze his hand which is now wrapped in mine. "But how. How did you overcome that."

"I realized that, there was nothing that I could have done to stop my mother. She obviously felt this life was so bad so she had to take it. You can change things and subside thoughts but you can't stop them. You can't stop people from feeling how they feel. Or felt. It's just nature. I learned that I couldn't have stopped my mom. It wasn't my fault."

"I've been trying so hard to not blame myself. It's nearly impossible though, I don't understand. Everything reminds me of her, everyplace, everywhere I look there's something that screams Karlie." I have tears carving rivers down my cheeks. The thought of my sister paining my heart. Harry moves his hand from my lap and I scootch closer to him on the truck bench.

"What I learnt, is that you can't let these things stop you. You have to live in spite of them. Take risks. Go on adventures. Fall in love." I snuggle into him as his words nearly fly by. "That's what my highschool girlfriend taught me."

By the time we reach my house I'm already half asleep with not support but Harry's shoulder. "Please don't make me go." I moan, just sighed myself closer to him.

Instead of him pushing me up or shaking me awake, I feel the engine paralyze and soon Harry's arms are around me, giving me all comfort I could hope for. "Don't worry. I won't." He whispers, cradling himself around me on the bench of the truck. This may not have been as comfy as my bed, but it wasn't half bad. Harry's chest was all I ever needed now.

He reaches in the back, and covers me in his jacket so I don't run cold. But I won't and I know that because I have him. Harry's fingers twirl my hair until not a piece is left untouched. His lips mine gracefully and I feel myself fly away into dreamland.