Saving Grace {Haylor}

Secret

Harry's healing process was actually going by pretty fast. By now, he had returned to his regular skin tone, for the most part. His rib was bugging him, as well as his foot. But he didn't really complain. Stuck it out. His wrist was feeling better and he didn't really need to brace anymore. But that just gave him another reason to try things with me, and with a broken rib, I didn't really wanna try much.

Today was Austin and Stephanie's last day here. They were going to Memphis to visit her family. Her and I didn't really talk or associate with each other. She hadn't really opened her mouth the entire time she was here except for 'could you pass the tai chicken please.' I don't know if that was actually how she was or if it was a cover she had masked on.

I was in the kitchen, preparing things for Austin to take out to the barbecue. "He asked me again." Austin says and I just continue to cut peppers in different shapes to go on the grill. "Did you hear me?"

"Yeah, I did."

"Well..."

"Well... What Austin? How am I supposed to tell him?!" Harry had been on my case. With us being home bound there wasn't really anything to keep his mind from wondering. It was question after question, some of them didn't make sense. I guess he didn't take to the meds as well he could.

"I just feel like it was a big part of your life. It was a big event, and I think if he asks questions, you should tell him!"

"What? So he can think I'm a psychopath like the rest of the town?! No thanks, Austin. I like feeling normal."

He huffs and shakes his head. "I like Harry. He's a good guy, and more importantly, he's good for you. If you asked him questions, you would want answers wouldn't you?" I nod. "I want what you guys have to last. I think if you work out the bugs now, you could be I'm this for the long hall."

Fury builds up inside me. How he figured it was his place to step in, I didn't know. I drop the knife and have to take a step back from the counter. I look over at Austin. "Last time I checked, you weren't too good at keeping a girlfriend. Finish dinner yourself."

I dash out the kitchen and grab my sweater from the closet, wrapping it around my shoulders, not even knowing if it's on right. "Taylor, where are you going?" Harry asks cautiously on the couch. I grab my keys from the dish and run.

I didn't know exactly where I was going. I didn't want to bring more people into this battle. But I didn't know who to go to. I didn't have anyone that understood. I had Karlie. But she was gone. My driving turns into circles and I kinda just let the radio take me wherever it pleases. Starbucks is on route so I pull through and pick up two Skinny Caramel Fraps with Chocolate drizzle. I'm going to see Karlie.

I arrive at the grave site where Karlie was buried. I drag my feet through the paths until I find my sister. Marked by and engraved tombstone reading:

Karlie Elizabeth Swift
1989-2013

A loved daughter, sister and friend.
She will be remembered.

"I'm nothing special... I still like to
watch sappy movies and stuff my face with popcorn. And I'm never not going
to like that."

"Hey." I claim my spot against Karlie's stone. "I've missed you."

Going to visit Karlie wasn't something I had regularly done. It was something I did when I had no other options. When I needed to get out, but had no where to go. I slurp back the frap and set it beside me. "I met this boy..." I take a deep breath and a chill runs up my spine. "He's really nice, Kar. I think you'd like him. He's nothing like Milo." I take a deep breath and slouch back. My fingers brush the grass. "Harry treats me so well. That's my boyfriend's name. It's Harry. He treats me like a princess. He never forced me into anything and he's always looking out for me. But well. Okay it's kind of a long story. Harry went out with Austin the other night and well, Milo was there and he well, he beat him up. Milo did. Harry's been in some pretty tough shape but he's been doing really well. But he's been home bound. Which means he's been asking me questions. A lot of them." I close my eyes and push my hands into my lap. "I'm so scared that if I tell him, he'll think of me differently. That maybe he'll do the same things Milo did. He's not like that. But the fear is still there." Tears gather In the corner of my eyes. What Milo had done to me was unspeakable. No one in my family ever mentioned it. And we never really talked about it.

When Milo and I started dating, he was nice. And I was head over heels. But Milo knew that. And used it to his advantage. We took our relationship slow at first. I wanted to make sure what we had was more than just sparks. I had a history of anxiety and depression, eating disorders, self harm... everything and anything. So for someone to actually like me, and not be afraid to admit it, was rare. And I liked it. Unfortunately I let Milo in way too fast. By our third date he knew what my weaknesses were and knew what would get me. He knew about my anxiety and depression and he knew about all the medications I took. He knew everything. From cover to cover.

It wasn't something that started up one day out of the blue. It was something that had been leading up but I was too blind and in love to notice. Milo was a very... Hands on... Kind of guy. And I'm not just saying he wanted to hold my hands wherever we went. It was much more than that. Milo liked to control things. So when our three month anniversary hit, and we still hadn't had sex, he took matters into his own hands.

I hadn't ever had a serious boyfriend like Milo before. I was eighteen and didn't realize what love actually was. Milo had me wrapped around his finger. He had me convinced that what he did was normal. That him sexually assaulting me... Was normal.

Somehow I was convinced that he was perfect. And that what we had was amazing. Even when it started getting worse. He started pushing me around but I was too blindsided by the love I thought I was in. Milo had strict rules on me and I just thought it was normal. I sank back into old ways. Maybe it was my way of coping. I stopped eat what I wanted when I wanted. I had scars along my wrists, but then Milo found out. And it wiped me into shape. And not necessarily in a good way.

"I love him Karlie. And the even better part is, I think you would too. He's so warm hearted. And if what I have with him lasts, if he doesn't leave after I explain it to him, maybe i bring him here one day." I finish off the last of my frap and look up at the colour changing sky. "Goodnight Karlie. I love you."

•••

I slip through the door and close it behind me. To turn around I see Harry sitting on the couch, his foot propped up on the table with Stephanie sitting beside him. It's silent for moment until I realize that Stephanie's failing her phone. "She's home."

"Taylor." Harry says so softly I can hardly hear him. "Come here." The look on his face is as if he hasn't seen me in years. And if his foot had of been healed, I would already be wrapped in his arms. I drop my keys in the dish and kick off my shoes, proceeding to walk closer to him. He looks scared. Time had flew by while I was out. The sun was already down and it had to be close to ten or eleven. I sit beside Harry and Stephanie immediately rises and leaves the room. Her fingers tapping away at the touch screen phone. "You terrified me." Harry's arms wrap around me so tight my nose is squished into his shoulder. "I was worried sick, you can't just leave like that without telling me." He sounds choked up. I've never had that. I've never had a boyfriend be worried about my disappearance when I walk out of a room.

"I'm sorry, I did-"

"Don't be sorry, just..." He takes a deep breath, "please don't do that ever again." He holds me tight. I feel wetness against my neck and I realize it's tears. "Taylor, please, look at me." His hands goto my shoulders and his watery green eyes stare into mine desperately. "I don't know what went on in your past. I don't know what you've been through, or how others have treated you. But I love you. I genuinely care about you and I need you know that. I need you to know that you can talk to me about things. That you don't have to run from your problems and that we can take them head on. I can help you. I love you so much Taylor. I don't want to ever loose you." He hugs me again, and his time softer, but still stern. Like this one is more for him. "I can't loose you..."