Trans Boy

eleven. swimsuits and binders

@-BrokenToken-

imma give a shout out to -BrokenToken- (it won't let me actually tag them for some shit reason, so sorry fam but also thank you for the idea for this chapter), thank, hon. i was literally so stuck with this chapter. without them i'd prolly have posted my shit ass chapter that was more of a filler than any filler.

i have the last chapter planned for this but fuck i don't know how to get there. whatever. maybe i'll start posting this as in like more than a day apart for the campers bc like idk what to keep doing. really, though, posting ideas or things you wanna see or just thought might work is a serious help on me and makes this story more unique bc like it's not just ideas from me? if that makes any sense? i think?

thank

(ha it did fucking let me tag them. ha. i was going to do it. sorry for the delay, but thank you, dude, for the actually really good idea).

i didn't edit this, i wrote it last night at midnight and then just now before class. have fun with this shitfest.

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"Okay, okay, I'm sorry," Carlos laughed, leaning to the left as he kept walking. Zaila was pushing against him enough that he was almost run off the trail, but forced him to also keep walking. I watched in amusement but made no move to help Carlos. He was on his own.

I looked back at Rhonni and Amy. They weren't paying attention to either Carlos or Zaila, but instead, Amy was telling Rhonni about some of the plant life on the side of the trail. She didn't stop, but kept pointing to them and telling her about them. It was kind of pointless, because Rhonni was deaf, so she either had to watch Amy talk, or look at the plant - so either way she was missing something. She shot me a quick glance, smirking when I did at Amy's enthusiasm. It was nice that she was trying, wasn't it? I thought so.

"Damn right you are," Zaila said in fake anger. She still leant against Carlos, one arm over his shoulders and the other messing with her towel. They were both wearing swim suits, and they were both acting like they were completely comfortable with each other and, like, everyone else. I looked down at myself, wondering what they thought about me.

I was grateful for Adam giving me a new binder that I could wear swimming. It was a bit looser so I could breathe and move easier, but it still felt weird. Seeing my chest flat with a t-shirt pulled tight over it and still no outline over my chest was impressive and made me feel amazing. I loved it. But I knew it wouldn't last. Mum and Dad weren't going to be happy if they knew I'd continued to insist being called Danny or Daniel. They weren't going to treat me like their son, but they were going to treat me like trash.

I didn't notice that Carlos and Zaila had not only stopped talking but stopped walking until I passed them and Zaila shouted at me. I stopped immediately, looking up to see Rhonni and Amy watching me curiously.

"What's up?" Zaila asked cautiously and casually. She was good at hiding her concern when it could affect someone else. I didn't see why she needed to hide it, though, because I wasn't in a problematic situation.

"What?" I asked, not able to make it sound as much like a question as I had wanted. I looked between the four of them before laughing nervously. "What?"

"You, uh, your. . ." Carlos looked flustered and uncomfortable. I felt flustered and uncomfortable.

Part of my parents' concern was that they thought I wanted attention. That I was doing this so people would notice me. But that wasn't it at all. I really didn't like attention like this. Even if it came from friends as close as Carlos and Zaila. It made me feel like I was under a spotlight and expected to do tricks.