My Fake Fiancé

Chapter 25

~Adriana~

"Ana..." I hear him say and lean back breathing heavily. His voice, he sounded, regretful. Wait, what? My cheeks flush with embarrassment and I can't look at him.

"I'm sorry. God, I want to. I really do." He mumbles, then let's go of my hand. I move back on the bed getting out from under him and look everywhere but at him.

"This is awkward." I chuckle nervously, trying to lighten the mood but I don't feel like laughing. I want to crawl under the covers and hide, from him and from everyone else.

I hear him laugh to humor me, "Ana," he pauses and I wait but he doesn't continue so eventually I peek at him and he is staring at me.

"I'm sorry." I say and he smiles sadly which makes me frown. Why is he sad? Wait, he said he wanted to, didn't he? Wanted to what? Keep going? Does he like me? I shake my head trying to brush away the thoughts and he gives me a strange look. I must look insane arguing with myself in my head.

"Ana," he begins again. "I... I like you. I like you." He repeats and I'm about to tell him I like him too but he holds up his hand to stop me. "No, let me finish." He waits until I nod then he continues. "I like you. I always have liked you. We grew up together. Well, you're a bit younger so I guess I grew up then I watched you grow up." I give him a look and he winces. "Yeah, okay that didn't come out right. I'm not good at this. Okay, so yes, I like you. As more than a friend. I'm not to the point of fiancée liking yet but who knows." He pauses to take a breath and I jump in quickly.

"Kurt," I say and put my hand over his. Deciding against sharing my own feelings. "Don't do this. You don't really like me." He's about to speak but I quickly continue. My heart is pounding and my heart wants me to believe what he's saying, wants me to tell him how much I feel the same. But I can't, my brain is telling me that he couldn't possibly love me. Love? Where did that come from? He never said anything about love. Everything we've been through is just getting to him. And to me. But It isn't real. "You can't possibly like me, Kurt. I think this has all been too much. Everything we've done. Every party we've been to, everyone we've deceived. Maybe we started to believe the lies too.." I trail off but I can see the rejection in his eyes. I force myself to continue. I need to end this. End his suffering. "I think we should stop. I'll tell everyone we broke off the engagement... don't worry about anything. I'll fix this..." He watches me sadly then stands and clears his throat.

He looks at me directly in my eyes when he says, "I'm willing to continue this if you are." He pauses and I can see him searching my eyes but I refuse to give him anything to go on. He doesn't seem satisfied but he gives a curt nod and proceeds. "I'll give you some space to pack your things."

I thank him then watch as he leaves. I wait until he has left the apartment before I let the tears fall. I lie on the bed and curse myself, I curse Callum and the stupid things I did. I try not to think about the "what ifs".

After crying for what seems like hours, which was probably only twenty minutes, I get up and begin to pack my things for the second time today.

It's all too much for me and I feel as if I'm going to have a break down any moment when suddenly, the door of the apartment flies open and I see Tatyana come in carrying a huge grocery bag and a box I can only recognize as the one filled with my favorite movies. I smile, feeling the meltdown slowly fading, then I think of what she is doing here and know Kurt must have called her. Instantly, I start crying and my heart aches. He is so kind. Even when he is hurting, he puts others first.

"Honey, I'm hooooome!" Tatyana shouts and I hear her dumping stuff on the kitchen counter. I come out of the bedroom and sniffle a bit, wiping at my eyes. I walk into the kitchen.

"Hi," is all I say and she turns to face me.

"Oh honey. You doing okay?" She asks before pulling me into a big hug. She rubs my back a few times then pulls away looking me over. And by this time, I've started crying again. She wipes at my tears then leads me over to the tall stools at the high top. I sit down and she starts pulling things out of her grocery bag.

"Kurt called," she says but doesn't pause to wait for my reaction, "we've got the place to ourselves this evening and it is a girls night. And you know what that means. Well, actually you probably don't but I'll tell you. So, movies, junk food, soda and lots of popcorn. And I'm not talking about those sob fest movies. Got it? I'm talking Fast and Furious, all of them. Jason Bourne, maybe not all of them but most." She digs through my movie box and pulls out all of the Jason Bourne movies, including the one with Jeremey Renner and she holds them victoriously in the air. "No, we have all of them, we will watch all of them!"

I lean back in my chair and watch as she bounces around the kitchen pulling out bowls for our junk food. At one point, she tosses me her phone and tells me that I am the DJ while she preps our food. I scroll through her songs and really want to listen to sad songs to sob my heart out to but I know that tonight is not the night for sobbing so I find her pump up playlist and hit shuffle. The first song is My House by Flo Rida and Tatyana instantly begins singing. I love this song and about a minute into it, I join in and hop down off of the stool to help her pour various candies into different bowls.

Maybe I'll be alright after all.