Random Rammstein Dialogs/Stories

Bowsers Castle

(Setting: Rammstein is sitting in the living room of their house, Till is trying to come up with a new song title for LIFAD and Paul is having fun with a new book he bought)

Paul: "Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess who got locked away in a castle surrounded by hot, boiling lava. The most evil spirit of all wanted her all to itself..."
Till: Oh Paul, stop reading that shit! It's annoying.
Schneider: Did you just read the start of Shrek?
Paul: No, it's a book I bought off some dude on the street today.
Till: Cool, now shut up! I'm trying to come up with a word that doesn't exist yet.
Paul: The book could give you inspiration! Damn this princess is hot though.
Ollie: What, a princess?
Paul: Look at this Ollie!*shows him picture of princess from the book*
Ollie: oooooh crap we gotta find her and save her!
Paul: Yes! We have to! *starts getting up*
Till: Paul, she doesn't exist! Now sit down and shut up! You're more annoying right now than Flakes moaning when we do the Bück dich act.
Flake: *blushes*
Paul: How do you know she's not real? It says that she's still locked up in that castle until this day and only her true love can go and find that castle and save her!
Till: Paul..... ITS A BOOK!
Ollie: So what? I'm for Paul's idea to find her.
Till: Do what you want. I'm gonna try and be productive for once and try to come up with a new word.
Richard: *inhales two cigarettes at once* pff, if we'd ever find that princess,*cough* I'm sure I'd be that true love and be able to save her!
Schneider: Choose your words wisely Reesh, in the end its Flake.
*Ollie, Paul, Richard and Schneider look at Flake, then burst out laughing*
Till: Oh I give up!
Paul: Ollie, Ollie, Ollie!!!! Look!
*Paul opens the last page of the book. It says 'Dear reader, you have been the chosen one. Go drive into the Black Forest, Germany and see where destiny brings you*
Paul: *whispers* Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Olli: Fuck yeah!
Paul: Hey Tilliiiiiii!!
You know what has always brought us inspiration throughout the last years? A nice road trip! What do you think?
Till: Tz, the only thing a road trip has ever brought us was a broken down car in the middle of nowhere and a hungover Richard and Schneider.
Paul: yes..... and after they've become sober again we've decided to name the Sehnsucht album sehnsucht!
Schneider: I don't remember that!
Till: Course you don't! But hey, maybe a little time out of this place will do us good. I'm in.

Paul: Can i drive??
Flake: Yeah hell to the no! Last time you drove against a fucking tree, and guess who's room was at that side of the house it fell on?
Paul: Uhhh, Emu's?
Flake: Mine you shit face!
Paul: Ohhhhh, right. So..... can I drive?
Ollie: I'll drive, Paul.
*everyone gets in*
Till: Where are we going anyways?
Paul: Into the Black Forest! It's nice there...
Ollie: Yep sure is.
Flake: Richard! Stop smoking in the car!
Richard: *blows smoke in Flakes face*
Flake: *zones out and starts sleeping in his seat*
Schneider: Jesus, Richard what is in that cigarette?
Richard: You'll never know....

30 minutes later....

Till: Oi, Paul? Why did you take that stupid book with you?
Paul: *Turns radio on and pretends he didnt hear*
Till: Are you still searching for the non existent princess?
Paul: *turns radio up*
Till: Paul! For gods sake, are we just going into the black forest becauseof that stupid book?!
Ollie: *changes radio station to classic music*
Till:Ollie....i...hate......youu....* starts falling asleep.
Paul: Ollie! Look, theres that old tree thats described in the book!
Ollie: Paul, there are a lot of old trees in a forest....
Paul: Yes, but that one was differeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeahhhhhhhh!!!!
*Suddenly the car falls down a big black hole that seemed to have come out of nowhere. With a loud boom, the car lands on solid groung again*
Schneider: Jesus, Ollie did you drive someone over again?
Ollie: Dammit, Schneider, I told you to keep it a secret!
Flake: Wait, what?
Loud, deep voice out of nowhere: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??
Till: What the....
*everyone slowly steps out of the car. They find themselves on a wooden platform in front of a huge castle gate sourrounded by hot boiling lave*
Paul: Ollie.
Till: What on earth is this?
Schneider: Don't think we're on earth exactly.
Paul: Ollie?
Till: Wait a second...
Paul: Ollie?!
Till: Didn't Paul read something about a castle in hot boiling lava?
Paul: OLLIE?!!!
Ollie: What?!
Till: Paul!!
Paul:*Shows them the picture of the castle from the book*
Till: Oh my fucking god, Ollie, what was that music you put on? I'm having some kind of Trauma....
Schneider: I wonder why the platform isnt burning....
Flake: Till this isn't a Trauma.... *pinches Till*
Till: Fuck it isn't!!
*gate opens and a tall figure with horns steps out*
Satan: You! *walks straight up to Paul* You have the book don't you?
Paul: *whispers to Ollie* this is the most evil spirit of them all!
*to Satan* Uhm, sup? So, uh, ja i got the Book.
Satan: I guess there must be a reason why he let all of you down here.... not just the chosen one...
Till: What do you mean, all of us?
Ollie: What do you mean he? Do you speak in third person? LOL
Satan: No, i used to be the most evil of all, but now, I'm just the servant of the master himself....
Bowser.
Paul: Gesundheit?
Schneider: *starts laughing hysterically*
Till: whats so funny, Frau Schneider?
Schneider: Hahahahha, bowser, hahahahahaha. Good one Mr. Satan, hahahahaha.
Richard: Bowser? You're talking about the Mario kart bowser?
Satan: Yes, exactly. Look over there, in the distance. Theres the race track. Many cars try to reach here, but they all end up falling in the lava. The book is the only real way to get here.
Till: So i underestimated you Paul!
Richard: So the princess is really in there?
Satan: yes she is, i will now lead you to master bowser.... he will want to see you!
*the six follow Satan into the castle. They come past hundreds of rooms until on one door it says *Princess' room around the corner*.*
Paul: *whispers* hey guys, look!
Flake: Are they stupid? Just putting signs here like that?
Paul: Guess they are! What are we waiting for?
*the six silently sprint around the corner and follow the signs until they come to a big pink door*
Schneider: What are we waiting for? Lets go in!
Paul: WAIT! I've read that only the true love is supposed to be able to open the door! So we all have to try until one opens it!
Richard: Well lets get over it then. *steps forward and tries to open the door, but fails* What?! But... but.... *eyes start tearing up*
Paul: Cut it out reesh, Satan said I'm the chosen one, so Ill try. *fails*
Ollie:*fails*
Schneider:*fails*
Till: Jesus, fine.... *door cracks open* Oh come oooooon....
*Till peeks into the room ans finds beauty itself lying on a big white bed. He walks up to her bed and leans over. Suddenly the princess' eyes burst open*
Princess: BÜCKSTABÜÜ!!!! *she falls out of her bed in shock*
Till: What did you just say?
Princess: Bückstabü....
Till: *whispers* it's perfect.....
Princess: wait, you're not alone.....?
*the others step into the room. Princess lays her eyes on the tall, skinny one with the glasses, the in her eyes most perfect man shes ever seen*
Princess: *walks up to Flake* Hey, you! Catch ya outside, how bout that?
Flake: Sure, my lady. *takes her hand and walks her outside* See ya later suckers! *shuts the door*
*otheres hear a clicking sound*
Richard: That little bastard and his bitch locked us in here!
Paul: Now we have to wait for our true love....
Ollie: I want the top bunk!!
Schneider: No i wanna!
Till: Bückstabü.....

A/N: hey readers, thank you so much for giving this story a chance and i hope you enjoyed it as much as i did writing it :). I am planing on writing more of these, and i am open to take requests if you have any ideas 😊
So i thought of doing it this way: if youd like, you can write four key words into the comments and i will try to write a story including those words. They don't have to match, i mean thats what these little imagines are all about :)
Cya later, rammfan52 ❤