Random Rammstein Dialogs/Stories

Another one bites the Dust....

I've been given the keywords: plant, chocolate, runny nose and picture....
Enjoy ;)🔥

(Setting: Rammstein went out to Ikea to buy something to decorate their living room with because Richard complained that it was too boring....)

Till: Maybe it would be a little nicer if you'd stop smoking in there, after all, it's a LIVING room, not a DYING-OF-LUNGCANCER room.
Richard: But y'know, it gives the atmosphere a touch of.... well, like a....
Schneider: Strip club?
Richard: Yeah, like a strip club!
Till: Adding Paul to that, that could acctually make sense, as much as he runs around the house naked....
Paul: Ewwwww, if my customers look like you guys then I would happily decline that job.
Flake: Guys, focus, we gotta find something!
Richard: OOOOOHH *runs over to the plant section and grabs a small white pot with a plastic plant inside* Its beautiful!
Schneider: Reeeeeeeeesh, i think our standards are a bit higher than an old plastic plant...
Richard: NO ITS PERFECT!!
Till: But its tiny! It won't change a thing!
Richard: I'M FUCKING BUYING IT!!!! *runs to the register hugging his already beloved plant*
Ollie: Crap, now we'll have a ugly plastic plant in our living room....

(Back at the Rammsteiners home; living room. Richard placed the plant on the coffee table in the middle of the room. Everyone is standing around it)

Schneider: Gosh, its awful!
Till: Like I said, makes no difference. I'd say we bring this ugly shit back and replace it with Flake. Stick a few leaves on him and put him in the corner. Would look nicer than this thing.
Paul: I'm in on that.
Flake: Awwwww thank you, that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me *eyes start tearing up, walks over to Till and opens his arms for a hug*
Till: Ahh, don't you dare!!
*runs away, Flake following*
Richard: *kneeling right before the plant, admiring it*
Ollie: Whats the deal with it, Reesh?
Richard: Mmmmmmm....
Paul: Reeschhard, at least wash that thing! Its probably been standing there for decades. See it's already dusty!
Richard: FUCK OFF YOU ALL, RICHIE AND I WANT SOME ALONE TIME!
*Ollie, Paul and Schneider sprint out of the living room*

3 hours later

Schneider: I wonder what Richard's doing in there with that plastic junk.
Till: I don't really wanna know...
Schneider: Till, why do you have hickies on your neck?
Flake: Tillie, should we tell them?
Till: Shut your hole, walking Stick.
Ollie: Tell us what, huh?
Till: Just don't....
Flake: So as you all heard, Till confessed his love for me back then with that compliment and then we had a good time up there *looks lovingly at Till*
Till: You're so done with this world, Christian....*leaves*
Ollie: Well good night everyone....
Paul and Schneider: Nighty

The next morning....

*Till wakes up to his nose running like crazy. As he comes down to the breakfast table which is set in the living room....*
Till: Flake what the hell did you do to me? Now my nose is runny!
Flake: Hey come on sweetheart, I...I...*ATCHOO*....
Paul: Morning everyooooaaaATCHOO...
Till: You too?
Schneider: Guys, I feel a little krank today...
Till: God what is wrong with us? Why are we all sick all of a sudden?
Ollie: Good question, next question?
Paul: Where's Richard? I haven't heard him come out of here last night...
Richard: Mmmmmm Richie...
Till: He seriously named the goddamn pl...plaaaaaaATCHOO! Plant after himself?
Richard: ATCHOOO!! What? Who killed the tree?
Schneider: Reesh, do you have a plant fetisch?
Richard: AAAAATTCCHHOOOOOO!!!
Schneider: I take that as a yes...*sniff*
Till: Guys, why are we all sick?
Schneider: Do we look like God to you? I dunno....
Paul: I bet you its that godforesaken plant. It's spreading polen everywhere, making us krank....
Ollie: Paul, the plant is plastic....*sniff*
Paul: Yeah? PLASTIC POLEN THEN!!
Schneider: Me too will have to defend the plant right now...*sniff* It can't be the cause...
Richard: Thank you! See, Richie, they're not THAAAT bad.
Flake: Maybe someone should just clean up the living room, it's gotten quite dusty in here lately. Till? Would you join me?
Till: Oh hell no!
Paul: Let's all clean up!
Everyone: YaaaaaaaaAATCHOOO!!!!

*After they've finished breakfast, the Rammsteiners get cleaning equipment and start dusting off the living room furniture. Richard is clinging onto his plant throughout the entire time so no one would touch it*
Ollie: Richard, you're not helping!
Till: Give me that stupid plant now!! *ATCHOO*
Richard: NEVER!! *sniff*
Paul: Hey has anyone ever noticed that this picture is hanging a few centimeters away from the wall? *moves it a bit to the side as something falls to the ground from behind it* Uuuuhhhh, *sniff* Guys? Why is there a chocolate egg behind the picture?
Ollie: Whaaaaaa...oooooohh. Remember when we did that easter egg hunt five years ago? The one I prepared?
Schneider: Oh look, here's another on in the light bulb of the lamp! That's why the light was so dimmed all of a sudden!
Ollie: That was really hard to get in there..
Flake: Till, does that make you think of something, honeybun?
Till: Don't remind me... *blech*

*The Rammsteiners continue cleaning, finding all sorts of chocolates inside the couch pillows, behind the drawers of the cupboard and even inside the old broken TV cable*
Paul: Ollie, how did you even... *ATCHOO*
Ollie: Don't ask, but it's creative right?
Till: I don't even wanna know where else you put them...
Ollie: Ja, please don't ask...
Schneider: Guys, I think we're done!
Richard: Great! I think Richies thirsty!! I'll give him some water.
Till: Still Plastic, Kruspe.
Richard: HE WANTS WATER!! *storms into the kitchen*
Flake: Guess who else is thirsty *creeps up behind Till*
Till: GET LOST,GOGGLES!!
Richard: GUYS WHAT THE....
(Everyone runs into the kitchen)
Richard: Look! The water's brown!
Paul: Told you its dusty!
Ollie: I....I don't think thats dirt....Fuck, I knew this plant seemed familiar..
Till: Oliver what did you do?
Ollie: *sniff* I hid a easter egg inside this plant back then too. It was standing in Flakes bathroom back then. But the egg melted in the sun and dried, and i forgot about it until it started rotting and Flake, you threw it out of the window, remember? And then i sold it to Ikea...
Richard: Wait, so Richie.... hasn't been washed in 5 years??
Ollie: Jap...
Richard: EWWWWWWW!!!
Paul: No wonder we're all sick now. All your fault Reesh!
Richard: Oh come on...
Till: GET RID OF IT!!
Flake: I love it when you're loud.
Richard: *sigh* *sniff* Fine, Ill throw it out.
*walks to the trash can*
I'll miss you Richie!
*suddenly light bulb appears over his head*
No, you know where I'll put you?
*walks over into Emu's office and places it in his cuppoard*
Richard: *whispers* As a little revenge for not putting my beautiful face on the last album cover...
*walks out of the room, satisfied*.....

Vocabulary: krank=sick

A/N: Hope y'all enjoyed this one too 😊😊 Please suggest more keywords for the next story :)
❤❤