Random Rammstein Dialogs/Stories

Milkshake

I've been given the keywords dishwasher,bottle,milk and trumpet
Once again, enjoy❤

(Setting: Paul wakes up in the living room of the Rammstein house one morning, completely hung over and has no idea whats going on and what hes doing. The entire living room is trashed, seems like they had a party....)

Paul: Owwww, my head.... Ollie? Schneider? Anyone? *figures they've passed out somewhere else* Ugh, fine.

(Paul starts getting up, but falls every two meters, not being quite sober yet. He stumbles into the kitchen where thousands of empty bottles are standing around everywhere)

Paul: Gosh, what the heck happened here? *stomach grumbles* Fine, breakfast time! Heh, that rhymes!
(He opens the fridge and gets out some milk and a slice of toast. He absently grabs a cup and a fork and starts pouring the milk into the cup, mixing in the toast....)
Paul: Oh scheisse, I think the milks off. *blech* You've just bought yourself a one way ticket to the bin...*grabs milk carton*
Paul: So, uh, where's the bin again? Hey, Milky, what does a bin look like? What did you say? The big grey thing over there? Riiiiight that's the bin!
*walks over to the dishwasher*
Paul: In you go! See you later! *throws milk into the dishwasher* I think, I'll go sleep again...
*walks off*

10 minutes later

(Schneider, Richard and Flake are sitting silently in the kitchen and staring into their empty bowls.)
Richard: I'm done. *grabs bowls from the others and puts them in the dishwasher.
Richard: God, it stinks! Schneider, did you put your perfume in there?
Schneider: I knew the shower gel this morning smelled like dishwasher detergent!
Flake: Richard, can you put the thing on?
Richard: What thing?
Flake: The thing! *points at the dishwasher*
Richard: Oh the sink? *points at the dishwasher*
Flake: Yeah, the fridge!
Richard: Ok! *presses some random button*
(The dishwasher starts making washing sounds as Richard sits back down next to the others. Suddenly...)
*BOOOOOOMMMPPFFF*
Flake: Richard, what button did you press?
Richard: That was a button?
Schneider: Richard you Dickass! It's broken!
Richard: NOOOO, MY BABY!!
*all crowd around the broken down dishwasher*
Flake: *slowly opens the dishwasher* Ugh god, whats that smell?
Schneider: Smells like some off milk mixed with dishwashing detergent!
Richard: Smells like you...
Schneider:Oh Richard ........thank you! *smiles brightly at him*
I love this smell. Hey, i should make a deodrant like this! 'Schneiderus Milkus Dishwasherus'! I'll make millions with that...
Flake: Christoph, if you do that, I'm gonna get Till to fuck you in the ass instead of me!
Schneider: Is that supposed to be a reward?
Flake:.......
Schneider: It's all set then, you're my official manager!
Flake: Ja fuck Nein...
Richard: Guys....*grabs a soaked piece of the milk carton* What's this?
Schneider: What does that say? M...Miii....lll...Milll..k
Milk? WAIT, MILK? THAT REALLY IS MILK? I thought it just smelled like that!
Richard: EWWWWWWW *throws carton away* That's disguisting ahhhhh!
Flake: What douche did this? SCHNEIDER??!!!
Schneider: I swear that wasn't me! But I have found the recipe for our deo!
Richard: We...we have to clean this!
Flake: Congratulations Sherlock!
Richard: But how? I'm not going to wipe this away! I am not touching that! My skin is already ruined by your guys presence!
Flake: Neither! Schneider! You love the smell, don't you?
Schneider: Exactly, so why wipe it away?
Richard: CHRISTOPH DOOM SCHNEIDER GO GET A LAPPEN AND WASH IT!!!!
Schneider: *jumps up and sprints out*
(A few minutes later Schneider comes back with no cloth, but a Trumpet in his hand....)
Schneider: I didn't find a cloth, but I found this?
Flake: *facepalm* Where the hell did you look?
Richard: Why the hell do we have a trumpet?
Schneider: I looked in Tills bedroom cause..... Yeah. And remember? Till wanted to practice the Feuer frei act at home, but couldn't use the face-flamethrower things here, so he bought a trumpet and tried it.
Flake: Yep, I also remember him waking me up every damn morning with that thing...
Richard: And how is that supposed to help us?
Schneider: *lightbulb appears over his head* We'll just blow the milk out of the dishwasher!
Richard: Great idea! Flake, you climb in there! You're the only one who fits in there!
Flake: No, in a thousand years no! I have a better idea! Schneider, how about we test this deodrant of yours?
Schneider: YAAAAAAA
Flake: Ok, Schnei, suck it out!
Schneider: *puts the trumpet to his lips and starts sucking the milk through the instrument*
Schneider: We'll have to put it somewhere...
Richard: *jumps up and grabs a bottle* Here, use this!

(For the next half an hour the three sit around the dishwasher and suck the milk out. Once they are satisfied....)
Flake: Alright, we have to repair this thing!
Schneider: *comepletely out of breath* Ja.....we.....have...to...
Richard: *places filled bottle on the kitchen counter* Come on, lets get Paul, he has a good hand when it comes to repairing!
Flake: You must know!
*everyone leaves*

Five minutes later...

Till: *walks into the kitchen* Och mensch, which idiot left the buttermilk out on the counter again?
*places milk bottle in the fridge*
Till: No order in this house!
*leaves*

Five minutes later....

Ollie: *opens fridge* Ooh buttermilk!
*takes a sip*
Ollie: Hmmm, somehow, this has a touch of dishwasher in it....