silence ; phan

twenty

Mum- Hi, your dad and I aren't gonna be back tonight. 

I look at the text and laugh to myself. It's not like they're home that much anyway.

- k

I put my phone down and look back at Dan, who's still hanging from my bed, looking at me through his eyelashes.

"D-Do you wanna maybe stay the night?" I ask, with a sudden surge of confidence, not doubting myself. Since it's Friday, maybe he'll say yes.

"Sure! let me text my parents. They'll let me stay over, I just need them to know."

-

I start to yawn, the DVD we're watching coming close to finishing, and as I reach my arms up in the air with the yawn, I bring one down around Dan's waist, and he shuffles closer, head on my shoulder. He always does that, and his mess of curly hair tickles my neck, but I don't mind it.

"I'm tired," He mumbles with a yawn, his words muffled by fatigue.

"I- oh fuck I'm so stupid!" I shout, but it doesn't startle the boy who's looking directly at me. "I don't have like a mattress or anything for you to sleep on unless you- no that's stupid."

"Unless I?"

"Well, I was gonna say, since my bed is like quite big for a single bed- well it'd fit both of us- I mean like, platonically- friends sleeping in the same bed, but it's stupid, I-" I stammer out, stuttering and slipping up on my words.

"That's fine by me." He responds calmly. "I sleep in just boxers and a t-shirt, is that okay?"

"Yeah, that's what I do."

He timidly pulls his jeans down, and I look away, him clambering into my bed awkwardly. We're both so fucking awkward. I do the same, us both in the shirts we wore today, and I climb in next to him.

The proximity between us is practically non-existent, but I don't mind it, It's warm and comforting, knowing someone else is there.

"Is this okay?" He asks, us facing each other with our heads on the same pillow.

"Yeah, it's nice."

"I agree."

Our faces are so close that our noses almost brush together, but it's a distance that reminds me that I'm safe, because I'm with Dan. Maybe it should feel awkward, as that's how I feel the rest of the time, but I don't.

I experimentally place the arm that isn't beneath me over Dan's waist, causing him to shuffle closer, his head by my neck. It's friendly, and it's chaste, and it's nice.