Sterek One Shots

Breathe

Breathe by Dugoosewan

"We have a mutual attraction thing going on here, right?" I asked coming up behind him.

His shoulder tensed at the sound of my voice. Coiled with the tension of an animal preparing to flee. I waited from him to respond, but he made no other movement that showed further acknowledgement of my presence. His back was still tense and his mouth held captive the words I wished to hear.

I knew he liked me. Or at least cared for me. He handled me with a care and gentleness that I didn't think he was even capable of. He kept people in general at arms length and treated them with a wariness that seem to be apart of his very nature, but with me he was different. At least I thought so.

His eyes seemed to always met my own while holding a fond warmth. Well as fond as his eyes could get. I often felt the trailing of his fingertips along the plains of my body. He seemed to be content with just being in contact with me, with just the feel of my skin underneath his own. But that could be because of pack mentality and the whole being a wolf thing.

No.

What we had was different.

It had to be.

I couldn't accept anything else. I couldn't deal with anything else. I couldn't deal with the possibility for his silent caresses and searing gazes to all be apart of some stupid wolf thing. He had to love me, there was no other explanation for the way that he acted around and with me.

But why hadn't he said anything?

Why was he still so motionless with his back towards me?

Had it all just been something I made up?

Had it all been in my head?

He hadn't initiated anything. Hadn't taken our relationship any further than the touching and the looks, regardless of how much I wanted to. Because I very much did want to, but he hadn't and I was fine with it. I thought it was something stupid thing about abiding by the law and he just wanted to wait until I was eighteen before even approaching me with the idea of us being more. Because that had to be it right? I couldn't have devised an entire relationship in my head could I?

Could I?

Wait were we even friends?

Because if I had made up the fact that he liked me, couldn't have also made up the fact that we were even friends?

Did he even like me having me around all the time? Because I had started coming around when I thought there was a mutual attraction thing going on. But instead was I being annoying him, and did he just not want to hurt my pitiful human feelings by tell me to step off and leave him the fuck alone?

Had everything been a made up fantasy?

Oh my god, I was losing my mind.

I was losing my mind, making up parallel universes where the notion of Derek and I being an item was even feasible and confusing them with this one. Because I should have known better. I should have known that Derek would never want me and that I had to be losing my mind to even think that he would.

And that mantra of him not wanting anything to due with me because I had screwed up big time kept playing in my head. Pounding in my ears in tune with my heart and deafening me to anything besides the taunts of my mind.

and I couldn't breathe

Because he still hadn't turned around, still hadn't looked at me, hadn't answered me, hadn't refuted any of my silly thoughts

and I

couldn't breathe