Sterek One Shots

Letter to a Selfish Werewolf

Letter to a Selfish Werewolf by lonniek

~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Derek, Stiles started, his hand shaking. He shook his head, appalled that he could even bring himself to write this stupid letter. Derek had been gone for seven months and four days, and he was still all that Stiles could think about. He looked down at the piece of paper on his desk, in the center of his focus rather than the computer off in the corner. I hate you.

But hate wasn't really the right word, Stiles realized as he continued to write. The tears burned at the back of his eyes as he erased the phrase, frustrated. I miss you every day. You had no right to leave me like this. Stiles blinked and swallowed hard, closing his eyes against the memories.

Everyone had gathered at Derek's for a movie. It was pack night, and Derek, for once, had decided that everyone deserved a break. Scott and Allison were curled up into each other, Boyd and Erica were smiling at each other from their perch on the couch, and Isaac was settled in between Jackson and Lydia, perpetually in the off-again stage of their relationship. He and Derek were sitting together in front of the tv, with Derek's arm slung over Stiles' shoulder, and Stiles' head resting on Derek's chest. They were comfortable.

"Damn it, Derek," Stiles said out loud. You and I...we could have actually been a thing. But then you went and screwed it up and now I can't even talk to you. Or see your face. You're always so damn independent, but you can't do everything on your own. Stiles' sob surprised him, and he set down the pencil to choke on another one.

There had been so much screaming, and all Stiles was aware of at the time was that he was being ushered out of the building because it was on fire, and Isaac was grabbing his arm and Scott was pushing him through the opening of the door while shouting at Allison. "But where's Derek?" Stiles had asked over the noise of the foundation of the building crackling. But Isaac and Scott couldn't answer. There was wolfsbane in the firebombs, and they were dragging Stiles out and trying to keep him safe. His heart started to beat double time, and he repeated his question, three times as frantic.

It had taken two hours for the fire to die down, and Stiles had forced all of his friends to go home. He waited for his father to show up at the scene, and when the sheriff pulled up, Stiles had gone for his father's chest immediately, crying and shaking his head. "He's still inside, dad. He's still inside!" Hysterics had taken him then, and Stiles' father held onto his son while signaling for men to go inside and look for Derek Hale.

"It'll be okay, son. He'll be okay. Kid's built like he's made of Teflon," Sheriff Stilinski tried as comfort. But Stiles could feel the tug in his chest as his father forced the words. His mouth went dry, and then the tears started again in full force.

"I loved you," Stiles said out loud as he wrote, finding peace in breaking the silence as he wrote. "And my dad, everyone told me that writing this letter to you would make me feel better about what happened." Stiles scoffed as a tear fell onto the letter, smudging the D in Derek's name at the beginning of the letter. "But what do they know? I wrote my mom letters, too, and I still miss her."

After thirty minutes, paramedics and firemen came back out of the Hale house carrying a body on a stretcher. Stiles' father tried not to let him see it, but Stiles bolted out of his father's arms and to where Derek was being carried, unconscious, to the back of an ambulance. "No!" Stiles screamed, and the sound tore through his entire body. But nobody seemed to hear him, to understand that this couldn't happen. Derek couldn't just... "NO!" he screamed again, with enough force to knock him off his feet. In the time it took him to stand up, his father was already against him, pulling him back into his arms.