ELEVEN

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I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. I was painfully aware of the sharp coldness of the floors. The rhythmic beeping of the machine monitoring Fred's heart sounded like sirens in my head.

And yet it was comforting. The beeping was no longer a low, constant tone. It sounded exactly how it should.

I was nearly on my knees whenever I reached him. I clutched his warm hand and studied his breathing, as if studying him would immediately wake him up.

George rounded the corner of Fred's bed and sat in the other chair.

I laid my head down beside him as my thumbs rubbed circles on his hand.
-----
"I want to take you out to lunch."

I can't leave him. I can't. The last time I left him, he nearly died.

In response to Sammy's question, I shook my head.

She studied me. "I need to tell you something. I need to take you out to lunch."

"I can't leave him," I croaked. My voice was hoarse because of lack of use.

I turned my head to my best friend. She looked as gorgeous as ever, blonde hair falling just past her shoulders and blue eyes sparkling. How can she look so normal? I'm sure I look like complete shit, yet she still looks gorgeous. She looks as if we didn't lose a best friend. She looks as if the love of my life isn't nearly dead in the hospital bed beside me. I'll ask again, how can she look so normal?

I met her gaze, silently pleading for her to understand. Lips pressed into a thin line, she nodded.

"Okay. Some other time then," she said softly, looking to the ground.

I nodded and looked back to Fred.

"Bye, Elle. I love you," Sammy said. I knew she had one hand on the door knob.

"I love you too."
-----
Knock, knock!

Knock, knock!

My head shot up from its place on the bed beside Fred's arm.

Knock, knock!

That's odd. People usually come right in, even if I don't answer.

Knock, knock!

"Come in," I forced out in the loudest voice I could muster. Mind you, it was probably only a tad louder than a whisper.

The door tentatively opened to reveal pale blond hair and grey eyes. Draco.

I looked away from the door and directed my attention to Fred and I's intertwined hands.

"I'm sorry."

"I know," I said softly, still not looking at him. I seen it in his eyes and expression when he opened the door.

If he looked surprised, I didn't see it.

"He'll be okay, right?"

"I hope," I replied quietly.

Draco fell silent. The only sound in the room was Fred's heart monitor.

"I have some news," he finally said.

Why does everyone have news?

"I don't want to tell you here," he continued. "Can I take you out to lunch?"

Why does everyone want to take me out to lunch?

Don't they understand that I can't leave Fred? Don't they get that anything can happen if I'm not here?

I shook my head. "I can't leave him," I replied, the same way I did with Sammy.

He nodded. "Alright. Just let me know when you want me to take you out for lunch, okay?"

I nodded. It felt good to not have to argue. Draco knew that I wasn't going to leave him, so he didn't push it. For that I was grateful.

He walked towards me. Without realizing it, I had stood up and walked into his open arms.

I cried. I feel like I've been crying way too much recently, but I can't help it. I'm terrified.

Draco simply held me and rubbed my back. He didn't say anything, nor did he press me to tell him what I was crying about.

My cousin's arms were strong around my shoulders, reminding me that he was here. Draco Malfoy, the Slytherin Prince, is here comforting me. Sure, he is my cousin, but can you really picture Draco Malfoy hugging a crying girl?

"I'm scared," I said after my tears had subsided.

"I know," he told me.

"What if he doesn't wake up?" I asked, nearly back to tears.

"He will. He doesn't want to leave you. He's a Gryffindor. He's a fighter."

I nodded. I hated feeling fear. It made me feel vulnerable- a feeling I hated even more than fear.

As if he was reading my mind, he said, "It's okay to be scared, you know."

I nodded, not truly believing his words.
----
"Okay, Fred. Here's the deal. Remember how I hate dresses? Especially long ones? Yeah, well, I actually want to wear a dress. A long white one. Remember how I hate little kids? Yeah, well, I actually want to have a couple with you. I want to marry you, Fred. I want to be the mother of your children. I want to grow old with you, Fred. Whenever I picture myself getting married, I always imagine you being the guy I walk down the aisle to. I always imagine you playing with a little girl and a little boy. It's always you. In order for all this to happen, you need to wake up. You hear me? Wake up!"

Everyday I say something heartfelt to Fred to try to wake him up. Today was one of my longer spiels, but it's true.

I want to marry Fred.

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