Awakening (Fred Weasley)

THIRTEEN

You know that feeling when you just know something bad is going to happen? You know how you have that connection with someone so you just have this feeling about what's going to happen? How you just know if they're in a room for instance? Or if they're sick? Or sad? Or dying?
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"Elle, wake up!"

My blood ran cold. I willed it not to be true. I finally opened my eyes to see George standing by the bed. I could see the panic in his eyes. I could feel it in my bones.

Something is wrong with Fred.

I jumped out of bed and slipped on some spare sweatpants that I keep in Fred's room. I left his shirt on as I grabbed George's arm and apparated.

Callie wasn't in his arms, so I assume Molly has her for the night.

As George and I rushed to his room, we seen the rest of the Weasley family rushing in in front of us.

Not good. The feeling of dread overwhelmed me. I felt the blood drain from my face and my stomach drop. My heart stopped beating.

We all rushed into the room, Molly holding a quiet Callie in her arms. Arthur had his arm around his wife's shoulders. Bill held Fleur against him, fear evident on his face. Even Charlie and Percy were present. Ron and Hermione were standing at the edge of his bed as well.

A healer was near Fred's head, a grim look on his face.

George and I pushed past the other Weasley brothers, near Fred's head. I grabbed his hand, immediately scanning his heart monitor.

Tears were already streaming down my face.

Looking at the healer, I knew what he was going to tell us.
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George had just come out of Fred's room, tears streaming down his face. He looked at me and nodded.

I numbly rose from my chair and slowly made my way to his room.

Pulling a chair close to him, I sat down. I grabbed his hand once more.

"I'm sorry, Fred. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize how strong my feelings are for you. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I never got to tell you my hopes for us for the future. I'm sorry you'll never get the chance to see me walk towards you in a white dress. I'm sorry we'll never get to have intimate moments again. I'm sorry we'll never get to pass on our prankster genes to our kids. I'm sorry that I wasn't quick enough. I'm sorry I was always a step behind. I was a step behind in realizing my feelings for you. I was a step behind on telling you what I want for us. I was a step behind on saving you. I just wasn't quick enough, Fred. God gave me a chance to save you, and I failed. I failed you, Fred. I'm sorry," I paused, taking a moment to wipe the tears from my eyes as I gathered my thoughts.

"You have given me some pretty amazing memories. Us playing in the fields around the Burrow when we were kids. Us teaming up with Peeves to prank Snape. That dance at the Yule Ball. The time a shelf fell on you at Zonko's. The times you called me the most stunning girl you'd ever seen. All of our kisses.

"I'll never forget any of it, but I want you to know it's okay. You can let go, Fred. I won't be mad. I understand. You're tired. You're tired of fighting. It's okay. You can go.

"You have given me the best life I could ever imagine. You've gotten me through so much. I don't know how I'm going to get through this without you. But I don't want you to worry. I'll be okay, eventually. It'll take awhile, but I will.

"I love you with every fiber of my being, Fred. I love you so much it hurts. I don't just love you, Fred. I'm in love with you. You're my everything. Being with you was like an awakening.

"So, I'm going to say it one last time. I love you."

I took a deep breath, wiping tears away once more. I forced myself to let go of his hand after a moment. I stared at his peaceful face. I put my hand on his cheek as I turned and made my way to the door.
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They shut his heart monitor off. They say it'll happen any moment. Any moment his heart will give out. His vitals have been slowly declining.

It's good that he's surrounded by the people who care most about him, they said. It'll make it easier on him, they said.

Tears were still streaming down everyone's cheeks.

This doesn't seem real. This can't be happening.

I told Sammy I couldn't leave. I told her. I told her that this would happen. I knew this would happen. It's my fault. I let her drag me away from him. It's all my fault.

I was clinching his hand for dear life. I left him once and this happened. I'm not leaving him now, not when he needs me the most. As much as it hurts, I'm going to be here.

Looking up, I started crying harder.

"Fred!"