non-binary → phan (on hold)

4. napkin

the next morning, i stayed on the couch. i was wrapped up in my blanket almost like it was cocoon. i didn't move a muscle. i continued staring at my blank ceiling and listening to the sound of a clock ticking somewhere in the flat. billie and connor's soft breathing sounded from down the hall. 

that was the one thing i hated about this flat - everything seemed louder than it really was, projecting from one room to the next no matter how quiet the noise was. i pulled out my phone and checked my notifications. nothing.

i frowned, reminding myself that i would have to text phil first, considering i had his number and he didn't have mine. the napkin was still in my pocket. i pulled out the crumpled paper and read over phil's number again and again and again, deciding whether or not i should text him. i sat up and placed it on the table. i stared at the napkin instead of the ceiling.

eventually, however, billie woke up and slowly made her way to the couch. "good morning, sunshine," she said, stretching her arms high above her head. her sweater sleeves flopped over her fingertips, to long for her own arms. she dropped her arms to her sides.

"g'morning." 

she fell next to me on the couch. i removed part of my blanket cocoon for her to slide under the blanket also. she cuddled up next to me, resting her head on my shoulder, still tired. "whatcha got there, bub?" 

"phil's number," i responded, returning my gaze to the napkin that was set on the small table in front of us. "i'm deciding whether to contact him or not." 

she moved her head from my shoulder to grab the napkin, getting a better look at it. "how much do you like him?" 

i sighed, shrugging my shoulders. "he was nice, but i was kind of disturbed by how interested he was in me after he realized who i was. i mean, i was flattered, but i was also a little creeped out. he told me that he can 'dig' the fact that i'm non-binary."

billie's eyes widened. "you told him?" 

i shrugged again. "yeah, but i don't know why." 

"how drunk were you?" billie asked, crossing her legs in the same position mine were in.

"i only drank water last night, bils," i responded, grabbing the napkin from her. "and i only told him because i felt like he was far gone enough for me to correct him on what pronouns to use for me and not be able to remember." 

billie shrugged. "he might remember, but i don't know." she stood up and headed to the kitchen. "it's good that you corrected him though, so if he remembers at least he digs it and will know to use he or they or him or-"

"okay, billie, i get it," i said, laughing. 

i listened to the sound of cereal being poured in the kitchen. billie returned with two bowls of cereal. "connor's bowl is in the kitchen."

i took the bowl and started spooning the cereal into my mouth. "tell him that, not me." 

billie grumbled before setting her bowl down and plopping onto the floor. "i'm not waking him up. he might try to kill me." she began eating her cereal. "like you when we first met, but then i learned to not wake you up unless i woke you accidentally. lucky connor, not having to experience my wrath of waking him up due to you chucking a lamp at me."