non-binary → phan (on hold)

7. sweet tears

dan-

the ride to my house was silent - i insisted on going home first, wishing to be alone and asleep. billie's head was leaned against the window in the backseat and phil was awkwardly drumming his fingers against the steering wheel. my head was in my hand, cold fingertips pressed into the clammy skin of my forehead. the fight between billie and cat had made me feel sick, though it wasn't very extreme, and i wanted to be as far away from this planet as possible.

now would be the perfect time to become an alien. 

i sighed and closed my eyes, moving my head to the window. it was cool. "billie, i'm sorry for snapping at you." 

"it's okay," she mumbled. i then heard rustling noises followed by billie's hand ruffling the hair on my head. "love ya, daniel." 

"uh-huh, love ya too." 

she then grabbed my head with both of her hands and pulled it back so that it touched the seat. she gently pushed it, forcing me to look out that window so that she could raspberry my cheek. phil chuckled from beside us. "that's honestly what i look forward to in any future friendships of mine." 

i smiled at him, softly. "if you're friends with billie, expect a lot of cuddles and things like that," i said, returning to my original position. "i, however, don't like most human contact. billie is an exception and connor is getting there." 

"what about me?" phil said, frowning. "am i not your friend?" 

"you are his friend but you're not that close to him yet. therefore, they'd want to cuddle with connor before they'll cuddle with you." billie put her feet up onto the center console. "sorry, lover boy, but you're gonna have to wait. things can never be slow enough with dan." 

"that's true, i don't like running very much." 

phil gently shoved my shoulder. "oh my god," he said, laughing as he switched on his turn signal. "you honestly need to quit taking things so literally." 

billie huffed. "he should not! it's one of the many traits that make up the dan we know and love today." she tapped her toes against my shoulder. "isn't that right, daniel?" she didn't wait for me to answer before she shot forward with a loud gasp. "oh, dan, i almost forgot to tell you! you're going to hate me for this. probably the wrong time to tell you but i need to tell you." she stuck her lip out in a pout. "please don't be mad at me." 

i felt my eyebrows knitting together in confusion. "um, i'm kind of scared to hear whatever it is you have to say." 

"no, no," billie shifted her body so that she could lay down, "don't be scared. or maybe you should be? i don't know, dan, just hear me out. okay?" she sighed, drumming a small rhythm against the back of the seat. "you know how i'm going to america to spend the holidays with my family, right?" 

"uh-huh." 

i turned to face her. she was chewing on her lip nervously. "i, uh, may or may not have to move back there when that time comes." 

i had never turned around so fast. everything after that seemed to go in slow motion. billie was staring at me with wide eyes, hands held up as if i was a dog gone mad. phil had pulled the car over to the side of the road. he was looking at me with a horrified expression, frightened eyes latched onto my neck as if had snapped it. my hands were in a white-knuckled grip on the seat. however, my response was calm. "i'm sorry. repeat yourself." 

billie spoke slowly, as if i were a bomb and the wrong word would set me off. "i-i might be moving?" 

i stayed where i was, frozen to the seat. my stomach felt like it was doing flips. i loosened my grip on the seat and yanked the car door open, clambering to unbuckled my seat belt. the vomit came up looking like clam chowder and smelling like acidic cheetos. i blanched under the dim light of the moon and sank to my knees outside of the door, resisting touching my face with my fouled hands. as i leaned forward the last of it dribbled from my lips and my stomach turned over one last time.

i felt a firm hand grip onto my shoulder. i hadn't realized that phil had gotten out of the car. "dan? i would ask if you're alright, but you just threw up and that would be a stupid question. billie wants you to lay down in the back with her so she can help you get cleaned up." 

phil moved both of his arms under my shoulders and lifted me. i felt my hands clutching onto the soft fabric of his sweatshirt as he struggled to open the car door. it eventually opened with the help of billie. 

by the time phil had started driving again, billie was wiping my face and hands on with a wet wipe that phil had stored somewhere in the car (he said he uses them to clean off the dash). when she was done she laid her head against mine, her tears combining dripping softly against my face. "i'm so sorry, dan," she whispered softly.

i fell asleep to the soft sounds of phil humming a beautiful song and the gentle touch of billie's small fingers through my hair.

⌲

author's note! i'm sorry for the long wait and sucky chapter but thank you guys so much for all of the support on this story! i never expected this to get anywhere <3
-di

(i've also added a slight change to the prelude. i love v so much that he will soon be an important part of this story. that is all, bye.)