Why | EXO

Sing For You

Lu Han, Lulu, my immortal, mesmerizing, enchanting king, you left in October. 

The second person to leave was the love of my life, he didn't know it and I kept it that way for too long.

It was October 1, 2014. Lu Han told Suho how he felt, and how he had been thinking about the first member leaving. He wanted to go, the pain and suffering they had caused him pushed him to depart.

Once again, my heart was smashed. There was a large crack through the middle, causing blood to seep out through my fragile body. There was a small piece that wasn't broken and I lived off it.

-October 1, 2014-

"Lu, I understand how you feel but why don't you just take a small break? There's no need to file a lawsuit." Suho tried, my king shook his head.

"It's done, I'm done. I'm sorry but I can't keep going like this, you know how they treat us! We barely get any lines and you guys are the ones that do, poor Yixing and Tao are suffering to the bone. That's their choice, not mine. I have insomnia, I haven't even seen my family in years!"

Once again, I stood there listening to their conversation. Why do I keep doing this to myself?

"Again, I understand but please, don't do this. Think about the others at least, think about Minseok." Not me, it's nice knowing I'll forever be sitting here with my heart broken.

"I did, I thought about this decision for months and I acted on it. I have to leave, this isn't me anymore."

"Then I'm not telling them, you go. You're the second oldest, you should be able to tell them without fear."

"Wait-"

"No, I've gone through this with Kris, I'm not doing it again. I bet you Sehun is listening right now, just like he did last time."

"He was listening to you and him?" Yes, and that is my cue to leave.

"I can't imagine what pain he's going through, I really hope he's not right there." I went to the couch and pretended to sleep, holding a pillow against my chest to hold whatever sanity I had left in me.

"He's sleeping, Suho. Don't worry, he'll be sad with everyone else."

"You don't care about anything do you?" Please care about me.

"I do but-" Let him speak.

"Just forget it, go to bed." Suho put a blanket on me and messed my hair that was full of sweat and some of my tears.

"He seems sick. See what I tell you? They don't care."

"Didn't I tell you to go back to bed? This isn't your problem anymore." The last part Suho whispered, I can tell he was trying to be strong but nothing was working out.

Lu Han didn't say a word and left back to his room. I heard shuffling and a suitcase being unzipped.

Let me sing for you, just one last time.