Fit Her Shoe [Gottfred & Lorin]

Kabanata 7

Gottfred left the room again and never returned. However, in the darkness of the night, I stayed wide awake on the bed, couldn’t find sleep anymore while a giant, aching hole where my heart had been.

I sank wearily back against the pillows and fought to get a grip on the tears that suddenly clogged my now aching throat.

I was just silent while we were having breakfast the next day. Nasa harapan ko siya na tahimik lang din na kumakain at himala na sumabay sa akin. But even when he was not saying anything, I could sense that he was mad.

Again.

Kailan ba siya hindi magagalit sa akin?

“You didn’t eat last night,” he said, cutting through the awkward silence.

“I was not hungry,” dahilan ko at kahit nga ngayon ay wala rin akong ganang kumain.

I felt like dead. All I could think about was the phone call last night. The knowledge that he was desperate to look for my twin had me losing my appetite and all the will to live.

He frowned and shook his head at me, dissatisfied with my answer.

“Even so. I do not want you thin. I do not want other people thinking that I cannot properly feed my wife,” aniya.

Natahimik ako at hindi na sumagot pa ganoon din siya. The heavy silence in the air around us was like fog that was suffocating my airways.

“The guests are arriving today. There will be a pre-wedding party tonight to celebrate with them. Remember that we have to act accordingly, especially in the eyes of Engineer Gallego and his wife,” he reminded me, watching me intently with veiled eyes.

I sighed, tired of having already been through this dialogue so many times. Kahit ganito niya ako tratuhin ay hindi ko siya kayang ipahamak o ipahiya. I was really trying my best to live up with his expectations of me and I hoped he could see all my efforts.

Gottfred left the suite after that breakfast, him on his phone again just like last night. Siguro ay kausap na naman niya iyong mga tauhan niyang naghahanap kay Loris.

Hanggang ngayon din ay iniisip ko kung saan ba siya natulog kagabi. But again, he owned this hotel, the entire resort, and he could sleep wherever he pleased to.

Once more, a wave of self-pity washed over me and I found myself unable to escape its grip. And right now, I felt like a whole new level masochist. Bukas ay ikakakasal na kaming dalawa pero ibang babae ang laman ng isipan niya. Ibang babae ang hinahanap niya.

A tide of terrifying longing swept over me in a stormy wave.

I really missed the old him that I had fallen in love with.

When I got bored doing nothing in our room, I decided to go out to check the wedding preparations in the beach. I was riding the lift down the lobby when I heard two female hotel staffs talking, one of which was that receptionist I had seen the first day.