Agent Alaska: New Threat (Red vs Blue)

Chapter 2

Isolated Moon near Chorus
Day 142
Agent Alaska POV

I sat in the living room of the new Blue Base on the couch, relaxing in my normal hoodie and sweatpants. Surprising. Usually, I would be out, trying to save the universe or something, but here I am.. taking an actual day off. It's been like this for a while and its kind of nice.

Kind of.

Sarge became "depressed" after not dying in the Great War on Chorus and Carolina had a hard time trying to.. be lazy. Fortunately, we had Grif, The Master of Laziness, teach her how to be relax.   

I honestly don't know what else to do. I mean I could-

"AHHHHHHHHH RUNNNNNNNNNNN!!!" Simmons voice broke through my comm.

"I CAN'T DIE AS FOOD!! OHHH HOOOO THE IRONY!!" Grif cried out.

"What did they do this time.." I groaned. I quickly changed into my armor, grabbed my sniper and ran outside. I saw Tucker, Simmons, and Grif running from a...

T-Rex? 

"Why should I be surprised that they are being chased by a dinosaur?" I mutter. I shot a warning shot in the air and the T-Rex stopped chasing them.

They manage to make it to me without being eaten which is a good thing.. I guess.

"First off Grif, how is dying as food ironic?" Simmons asks as I walk to the group.

Grif response, out of breath. "A T-Rex is a carnivore which means they only eat meat. Since we are made of meat, then is it ironic that we would be the food?"  

"That just doesn't make sense." Tucker says, clearly confused.

"Hi Ms. Nice Lady!" A loud voice said.

I jump a bit and but then realized that it was Caboose who spoke. "Oh hello Caboose."

"I was just wondering... um what were they running from?" Caboose asked curiously.

"We were running.. from a freaken.. dinosaur." Tucker answers, still out of breath.

"Yea I thought they were you know.. extinct." Caboose says.

"Apparently not." I reply. "And now the dinosaur wants food."

"So much irony.."

"Will you shut up about the irony of us being food Grif?!" Tucker groans.

"I kind of understand why Grif would say that we were food.." Simmons starts to say.

"I'm not surprised YOU agree with him."

I'm just going to settle this before going back to the base.. "Ok we'll just do a vote: all in favor of us being.. food to the dinosaur is ironic, say 'aye.'"

"Aye." Grif and Simmons say.

"And all in favor of it not being ironic, say 'nay.'"

"Nay." Tucker says.

"Nay for me too. So we have a tie so Caboose-" I turn around and didn't see him. "Caboose?"

"Ohhhh no. CABOOSE, GET AWAY FROM THE DINOSAURS!" Tucker yelled.

Sure enough, Caboose was making friends with the dinosaur.. along with the T-Rex's buddies.

"I'll comm everyone about the situation. Simmons, stay here and watch if Wash, Carolina, Sarge, Lopez, or Donut comes. Grif, Tucker, with me." I ordered.

"Why does Simmons get to stay?" Grif whines. "He has less meat on him.."

I roll my eyes. "Oh quit complaining." I opened my comm channel. "Guys we have a slight problem."