Diabolik Lovers

Chapter 21. Withheld Thoughts

I let out a sickening cough, lurching forward in the armchair as I began to vomit blood and my medicine. My coughs and dry heaves lasted for about 30 seconds, before I started to settle back down. I groaned as I leaned on the arm of the chair.

"Oh, Risa..." Reiji whispered as he knelt down, starting to clean up the blood. Panting hard, I opened my eyes, looking at Reiji.

"I'm sorry..." I said, softly.

"Your body is beginning to reject the medicine." I nodded, slowly. What could I say? He was right. Of course, this was the first time I've coughed it up like this, but I felt like it was starting to lose its effect. Almost overnight, I began to relapse, but this time, my medicine was not helping me. I could feel my body giving out, losing the battle against this illness of mine. I wasn't eating anymore and I hardly could drink any water. Anything I ingested came back up. Reiji lifted his eyes to me, looking at me with sincerity and compassion.

"Are you in pain, right now?" He asked.

"I'm achy." He nodded.

"Subaru?" Reiji looked back as I looked up. I saw Subaru was leaning against the wall, "Perhaps drawing a hot bath would be good for her." Subaru nodded and he walked toward me and he extended his hands out to me as he knelt down. I took his hands and slowly stood up from the chair. I gasped as I fell into him, my legs giving out. He carefully lifted me up and started to bring me to my bedroom.

It's been a whole day since Yui was brought back and she made no sign of waking up, but Reiji assured me that she would be fine. But, with her back, the Sakamakis all didn't seem so uptight. I think, even Subaru, was concerned for her, but he wouldn't admit it.

As Subaru prepared the bath for me, I slowly undressed myself. I looked myself in the mirror. I was only skin and bones at this point. If Yui saw me, she would definitely know something was wrong. I began to think about Subaru's question, about becoming a vampire. But, the idea of it was causing me to feel more depressed. I stopped thinking on it, but honestly, it was getting difficult to think of other things than that question and the fact my time was still ticking.

"Risa?" Subaru called out to me. I looked to him and then I approached the bath. Subaru handed me a towel to hold against me. I let my clothes fall off and then I brought the towel to my chest, stepping into the tub.  I  submerged myself in it, but I let out a gasp as my body finally registered the hot water touching me. My achy muscles were still hurting, but it was beginning to ease up, a little. Subaru began to wash my hair. It was so quiet between us. But, honestly, what was there to say?

Except...

"You know..."I finally spoke, breaking the silence, "You've done a lot for me."

"Risa, please, don't..."

"No, listen to me. You've helped me with so much. With this illness, with my feelings, everything. And not once have you ever asked for anything in return. I wish I could do more for you, but I'm afraid I can only do one thing." He stopped washing me and I turned back to him, "Awhile ago, you told me something. And it dawned on me that I have never said it to you."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that...I...love you too, Subaru." His eyes went wide with shock for several moments as he stared at me. I could only stare back. He dropped the washcloth and he suddenly launched at me, wrapping his arms around me. I gasped as I leaned back into the side of the tub. But, I slowly brought my arms up and returned his embrace.

No words would better describe how I felt toward him. I only wished I had said it sooner to him.

Afterwards, I dressed myself in some warm clothes, while Subaru cleaned out the bathroom. I was sitting on my bed, waiting for him, when he came out of the bathroom. He looked up to me and I saw an expression on him that I have never seen before. It was...soft...tender...loving. I felt like I was looking at a completely different Subaru. He approached me and knelt down in front of me, wrapping his arms around me and resting his head in my lap. I brought my hand to his head, running my fingers though his silver white hair. I felt a connection between us that I have never felt before. Subaru suddenly pulled away, crawling onto the bed, over the top of me, but he wasn't harsh. I laid back as I stared up at him. I felt my face turn red. It was probably the most color my face has had in a long time.