To Rodeo To Your Heart (COMPLETED)

Chapter 22

Gunner has a ball of guilt and pain resting in his throat as he stares out the passenger window of his pickup. Caisson had said goodbye and even given him a hug, but her face was down cast and she didn't squeeze him tight like she usually does. Nothing about it was the usual.

Right now all he wants to do is punch something. It doesn't really matter what it is he just wants to hit something to release the frustration and anger with himself. Life without Caisson just wouldn't be the same. It wouldn't be as fun, sweet, or peaceful. She's the best thing that has ever come around the corner and he can't imagine going to a rodeo without her in the stands or waiting for his call. When he really gets down to it she's done more than light up his world and get him motivated, she has taken Rachel completely from his mind. This is the first time her name has even crossed his mind since the first time he took Caisson on a date. And even now with her name coming to his name all he wants to do is smile and praise the Lord because he has found someone who has helped him look to the Lord to take that bad memory away.

Lord Jesus, you have kept me safe from the moment my momma brought me into this world with only minor injuries like the one I face now. Lord, I want to thank You for placing such an inspiring and beautiful young woman in my life. If this injury is You trying to tell me that rodeo isn't for me anymore, Lord, help me to be okay with that and to find something different to pour Your light into. Thank You for this wonderful day. I love You and praise You, In Jesus Name, Amen.

As he lifts his head Gunner feels a weight lifted off of his shoulders. He has placed his problems at the feet of the one who loves him more than any human ever could and now it is time to leave it there.
***

Caisson snuggles into her favorite chair in the living room with a mug of hot chocolate in her hand and wraps herself in a soft velvety blanket that her grandmother had given her when she graduated high school. That had been just three weeks before she got ill and passed away. The blanket has always been a comfort to Caisson as if her grandmothers arms are there wrapped around her for support.

Colton and Hope sit in chair opposite hers with their own mugs with either hot chocolate or coffee. Hope found the sibling's great-grandfathers old record player and country records that Caisson has been using as decoration for a while and has placed a Randy Travis record in it. No one is speaking they simply let their thoughts swirl in their minds and sort things out.

Eventually the music stops playing leaving the house in an almost eerie quietness. That is until Caisson abruptly sets her mug on the coffee table near by and scurries to her room, blanket wrapped and all. Even as little as they know each other Colton and Hope look to one another not knowing what to do. They each look to the hallway and then back at one another until Hope speaks, "I know you said she's a thinker so maybe we should let her be for a little bit."

Colton nods. What the woman said is true, but it doesn't make it any easier to watch his sister hurt. In that moment he wonders why he ever stuck up for the guy. He is hurting his sister more than he would ever like to see and even though he gets where Gunner is at right now he just can't quite be okay with the way he is dealing with it. Then again he probably would do about the same thing if the shoe was on the other foot.

Caisson throws herself on her bed and barriers her face in her fluffy pillow. It is just too much to stare into the sympathy filled eyes of her brother and boyfriend's mom. She wants to be okay with Gunner needing space. She wants to be that cool girlfriend that totally gives the guy space when he needs it and then gives him hugs and cuddles when he needs them, but it is a lot harder than what meets the eye. It is so hard to watch him drive away when all she wants to do is cuddle up with him and let him know she loves him. And it's true she does love him very very much and even this little wrinkle doesn't change that.

The time flies by faster than she thinks even though it feels like the minutes drag out into days because before she knows it there is a knock at her door. "Come in," she says just loud enough for the words to make it through the door.

It slowly opens to reveal Hope with two very tall mugs of hot chocolate and a platter full of cookies. "I thought that these might help get the words moving if you feel like talking."

Caisson smiles and nods. Now it makes perfect sense why Gunner is so sweet and always making sure she is comfortable, he had one of the best examples possible. "Thank you," she says taking the fall oragnge mug and a chocolate chip cookie. "I guess you think I'm pretty wimpy, huh? I mean you showed up to a house that is a wreck and a girl that is three times as much of one. I can't blame you."

Hope chuckles. "No no no, girl you have no idea how much I know what you feel like. The first time I met Greg's parents I had flown from New York where I had been on a mission trip. Well in the chaos of flying all of my clothes had been lost. All of it down to the last stitch."

Caisson giggles a little and claps a hand over her mouth. "Oh my!"

"Yeah, I was completely embarrassed. So he took me to the local clothing store to grab a few things, but it turns out my size was the most popular one because there was nothing that properly fit me. That leaves me spending a week with his family in over sized clothes, and my face had broken out in pimples from all the stress so that topped it all off." She pauses before continuing, "I prayed, hid out, and hid behind Greg more that week than I think I ever have, but his family never once said anything about my misfortune."

Caisson takes a sip of the hot liquid and looks up at the kind woman. "Did you ever feel like you just wanted to do something right?"

Hope's warm hand rests on Caisson's shoulder. "Many times. I would try to help with the food and then make a flop of it or I would play a game with them and end up making me and my partner lose. In one case I ate too many brownies and ended up throwing up all over Greg. Then and there I really thought that I had lost the love of my life and my soul mate, but he stuck with me."

There is a long moment of silence before either one of them speaks. "Do you think Gunner will come back?" Caisson finally says the thought that has been troubling her the most.

"Oh, sweetheart! Gunner is a very independent man this is just his way of showing that. Your love for him is as evident as the snow up here if he can't see that then he doesn't need you. You are the best thing that has ever happen to my son and not for a minute do I question that you two are made for each other and that he will realize that."