Friday Night Dinner

The Fanny Pack

"What the hell is that?" My eyes didn't even wander down to my boyfriends trousers before noticing the atrocious fashion statement he was wearing.

"Hello to you too, hi aunty Val"

"Hi love, nice fanny" don't say that mum.

"Got some competition" Jonny stretched out his arms with confidence and posed then gave me a quick kiss. As I ventured around the house saying hello to everyone, I noticed they were wearing a fanny pack each.

"Oh no...they're taking over" I whispered.

"Grandma got them from Italy" Jonny responded.

"Only for family right?"

"She got 10" shit.

"Hello sweetheart" Nellie came up to me, her hands behind her back, Jonny has his phone ready for a photo.

"Hi Nellie, how was your trip?" We kissed.

"Good! I brought you back a present!" She handed the fanny pack to me, oh good I didn't even noticed the personalised initials on the belt. I forced a grin and thanked her.

"You look hot" Jonny grunted and dry humped me once. I laughed and shoved him away.

"Get your fanny out Adam, we're taking a photo" I invited Adam into the shot.

"Not now" oh no, his voice sounded flatter than usual and a while lot snottier.

"Ayos mio, he's sick" I put my fingers into a crucifix position then stopped because I didn't want to offend Martin for some reason. He didn't care much though he often read Hitler books.

"Yeah, he's been sick all week. Been at work like a trooper though, oh wait where do you work for jingle writing? Your bedroom or shower?" Jonny teased.

"Ha ha...I'm in a studio apartment now" I chuckled at Adams response.

"Well don't get any germs near me tonight I have a job interview Monday" I warned him. That's when he decided to be a bastard and breathe in my face. I shoved him back a bit too far and he tripped into Nellie.
Nellie yelled out in pain.

"Oh Mum! Adam!" Aunty Jack scolded him. Adam pointed to me.

"It wasn't my fault, Pest pushed me!"

"Mum are you okay? Jonny call an ambulance she's hit her head against the railing!"

What have I done? I feel so guilty even though I swear I didn't push him that hard.
After the ambulance arrived and took Aunty Jack and Nellie the rest of us ate dinner in silence.

"I'm sorry I almost killed your grandma" I let out, the atmosphere was too tense I couldn't take it anymore.

"It wasn't anybodies fault, love" Mum assured me.

"Yeah if anything. Adams the one that killed her" Jonny spoke gently to me.

"I didn't kill her! I was pushed into her because I'm sick!" Adam defended.

"Because you're a dick?" Jonny joked. The two had a quick fight.

"How do you think Nellie is doing Martin?" Mum asked.

"She'll be alright, nothing compared to what's happened in the past. Locked boot, locked garage, locked bathroom, hit by a basketball, football; tripped on some wire, a stick, the door frame; fell off the couch, down the stairs-"

"We get it," Adam interrupted.

"And that's all within the last few months, she'll be fine" Martin finished his dinner and left the room, Mum soon followed.

"Relax, you didn't kill my grandma. You heard what Dad said she's gone through, she's indestructible" Jonny comforted me.

"You two are gross" Adam commented.

"Oh sorry did you want a kiss as well?" Jonny leaned into Adam but got slapped on the chest. We laughed and entertained ourselves until we got a call from Aunty Jack. Mum picked up because Martin couldn't even hear his phone.

"Oh really? That's such good news, Jackie!" She beamed, my anxiety was put at rest, as long as everything is okay, my conscience is guilt free.

"Well?" Adam asked once she hung up. Mum got her keys and headed for the door.

"Everything's fine, it's just a bump. Not even a bad concussion, I'm going to pick her up" oh thank goodness.

*
"You guys wanna get freaky?". I asked the boys as we were watching telly.

"Who the hell enters a room saying that and doesn't imply an orgy or cocaine?"

"Me" I replied disgusted at Jonny's response, "I found this old gummy bear on the floor, I thought we could have some fun and force Pusface to eat it" I spoke sweetly. Jonny grinned and jumped on Adam, making sure he didn't run away. I tried locking him down as well.

"No! Get off! Ugh! DAD!" He struggled. He punched and kicked the both of us but it didn't stop me. We make such a good team in bullying Adam, it's kind of sweet.

"Sorry darling, Daddy's in the garage!" I laughed and started lowering the gummy. I forced his mouth open but he kept biting me, "ow, you little shit" I grunted.

"Tickle his belly" Jonny suggested, I did as I was told and it worked! I put the gummy to the back of his mouth and held my hand over to make sure he swallowed.

"Just swallow baby, it'll be over soon," I joked. He started licking my hand but then, as if he could read my face, Jonny licked Adams cheek. That caused Adam to swallow.

"You guys are arseholes, I'm telling Mum once she comes home"

"What the bleeding hell is going in in here?" Martin came into the lounge bare-breasted and trouserless. I had to look away. Mum, aunty Jack and Nellie came home and into the living room as well. With Martin not wearing any clothes and Jonny and I still on top Adam, it didn't look too good.

"What the hell?" Aunty Jack whispered. A few moments passed before anyone said anything.

"Incestuous orgy?" Jonny joked, that earned him a punch in the arm.