The no-name

Someone Up There Has It In For Me

Are you ever in one of those really shitty moods? Where you feel like you can trust no one and that you've hit rock bottom? Well that's how I feel right now. I was currently laying on my bed, listening to music with all my lights off and my bed spread eating me whole. My cheeks were streaked from the tears and my eyes were puffy and red.

I guess I should explain why I'm like this right now.

~flashback~

I got home and texted Jace. He asked me to meet him at the park as usual and I agreed, as usual. I headed over in some Aztec print purple shorts and a baby blue muscle tank top. It was really nice out today so I couldn't help but enjoy the warm sun on my skin and the grass brushing my feet.

I was about halfway to the park when I bumped into Rae. "Oh hey" she smiled sweetly. "Hi" I say. "Where are you going?" She asked. I told her that I was meeting Jace at the park and her hazel eyes suddenly got so wide I was afraid they might pop. "What's wrong?" I asked her. "Oh... um..." she stuttered, at a loss for words. What the heck was wrong with her? "What?!" I asked impatient and annoyed. "I don't think you should go there" she blurted. I rolled my eyes and continued but she tugged at my arm. "Well if you're going I'm at least coming with you", she sounded worried and it was starting to scare me.

We rounded the corner and started across the soccer field. The swing set was only a few feet away, and that's where I usually met Jace, so I headed that way. I was staring at the ground and didn't realize it but my head suddenly snapped up when I felt Rae tugging at my arm. What now?! I turned around only to find Jace... and Crystal. My heart sank immediately, Crystal's hands were cupping Jace's face and Jace was looking into her eyes with an emotion I couldn't identify from here.

Not again, this is not happening again!

Crystal turned and looked me straight in the eye as if she knew I was here the whole time. Jace followed her gaze and turned to meet eyes with me. His mouth fell open and I could see the guilt in his eyes. I felt Rae tugging my arm again. "Olivia? Come on let's go" she said gently. I wanted to listen, I wanted to leave, I wanted to un-see what I saw. But I couldn't, I was stuck looking at Crystal smirk and Jace who was now wide eyed with his mouth hanging open. "Olivia? I-it's not what it looks like" he said stuttering like he was losing air.

I eyed his messy hair, guilty blue eyes and as I looked down, I could see his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed.

The same feeling I had from yesterday was back. It was stronger now.

My vision went blurry and tears started rolling down my cheek. I was still stuck, unable to talk or move, and I suddenly felt like a little kid who couldn't do anything. Rae tugged at my arm again and pulled me along with her as we headed back to my house. "Olivia! Please, it's not what it looks like!" I heard Jace from behind us, and it was like waterworks started shooting out from my eyes. I felt Rae turn around but didn't hear what she said. Then we continued to my house, bleary eyed and all.

~present time~

So yes, I was now laying on my bed as I said earlier. My parents weren't home so I invited Rae in. She was in my kitchen getting some snacks and I was curled in a ball, with my sheets tightly around me. I was listening to music, one direction and 5sos specifically, when Rae walked back in with a chip bag in her mouth and two more in her hands. I giggled when I saw her, and I guess me being less mopey made her happy as well because she joined in dropping the chips. When I caught my breath again I managed "Rae I said a few snacks not my entire cupboard" and we started laughing again.

I got up from my super warm bed and helped her out. We talked for a bit until she brought the subject back up. "You doing alright?" she asked, care in her voice. "I'm fine" I said not so convincingly. "Aw muffin" I laughed again but that only caused me to cry more.

This is the first time in months I'd cried.

I was a pretty tough nut to crack. I lived in a third world country until I was six. For the time I was there my parents had made my life wonderful. We had lots of pets, I had an older brother and sister, and life was good. When I was three my brother and sister died and my mom broke her leg in a car crash. My parents were devastated and became more distant. Eventually they resorted to enveloping themselves in their work. When I turned six we moved here; to Canada. I got a little sister who is the most annoying girl ever. She likes drama and dress up, and I like no drama and sports. Then I moved schools. I was pretty nervous but it turned out great. Later on the whole Crystal situation started happening. After that one of my friends with a disorder had died. So ya, I pretty much started being completely happy, angry or monotone at all times. Sadness became a very distant emotion that I felt every once in a while. Aside from all those emotional scars, my dad raised me to be as tough as nails, and it sure worked. I never cried unless it was really something to cry about, and now I felt really stupid for crying over this; yet my tears wouldn't stop.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when I felt Rae shaking my arm. "Yes" I say. "You went blank" she replied, "I'm fine" I say again. "You know Rae, I think someone has it in for me up there" I say laughing and pointing to the ceiling.

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I know I've said it before, but I luv you guys. Thank you so much for 600+!

So any comments? Was this a good chapter? And what do you think is going to happen next? Do you like the new cover btw?

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