The no-name

A Beautiful Nightmare

We follow behind the ambulance closely. I've stopped crying by now, not because I wanted to but because I physically can't. I'm sitting in the back seat and the memories keep streaming through my head.

The park where I was invited to the dance, the way his smile makes me smile, the way he hugs me when I need a hug and is always at my side. I close my eyes and I can't help thinking I could've prevented this. I could've just left Hunter! I could've turned around when I heard Jace. It's all my fault! I can't do anything! The one thing I love, who kept me up and protected me when I needed it, he might be gone, and it's my fault!

I squeeze my eyes shut and lay down. I hope he's ok. I hope that whatever happens to him, he's ok. I just want him to be ok, nothing else, I want him to be ok, and just as great as before.

I don't remember going to sleep but I wake up when the car stops. I quietly get up and realize what's going on all over again. I don't even wait for my parents I grab the door handle and swing the car door open. I run up the stairs behind the paramedics and into the lobby. I try following the paramedics into the room but am stopped by a lady at the desk. "No, you don't understand, I need to see him" I say as I frantically pull away from her grip. "Are you family", she questions. "Well, not exactly but-", "well then I'm sorry but you can't go". I'm so angry right now, but there's no fight in me. I'm too tired to continue so I take a seat.

About an hour later the same lady approaches me. "Hi, your.. Friend is going to be here for a while so you might want to go home and come back tomorrow", "isn't there any way for me to see him today?" I ask feeling the urge to be beside him no matter what. "The most you can get right now is five minutes" I sigh of relief, knowing five minutes is just enough time. "I'll take it" I smile as the lady leads me to a room near the end of the main hall.

When I enter the room she leaves and closes the door quietly behind me. I look down at Jace who's laying on a small bed, the blood from earlier on is mostly gone but there's a little dried onto his shirt. I smile down at him and take a seat on the small stool next to the bed. I grab his hand and press it against my forehead. "I promise it'll get better, I'll wait with you everyday until it's ok again" I whisper softly before the door clicks open. I plant a soft kiss on his head, "I love you. Jace I miss you so much. I love you to death and I'm sorry it took so long to say. I've always liked you. I mean we've had our ups and downs" my voice cracks right here and I finally sob, "but you were always there. Even when you weren't there even when you fought it was always you. I can't let go of you. I can't let go. Please come back. You're an asshole, but you're my asshole and I love every inch of you. Please" I finish and bring my hands to my cheeks and wipe my bloodshot eyes. I walk out with the nurse and give a silent prayer.

And in that moment I realized just how much this quote was true. 'You don't realize what you have until it's gone'. Technically he wasn't gone yet and I prayed he wouldn't go. But it's true you never realize what you have until it's gone. And all at once I missed him too fucking much.

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

so sorry for taking so long on this. Sadly this is my last chapter but I promise to write another book which follows up on this one. I might start after summer break though just to get some ideas running. Thank you so much for the support with this book. I love every single one of you, and I will make a longer authors note later on. For now goodbye and see all you lovelys again after summer break. Thank you again, xoxo.

~Olivia