Aftermath // 5SOS Fanfic // Ashton Irwin

Safe

Ash's POV- I sleep in again. I don't know how. Sleep doesn't usually come easily to me these days, but I slept the whole night through last night. My room looks cool now that we're all unpacked. I'm a big believer in CDs (still), so my crappy CD player and album collection sit on my bedside table. I have a cajon box drum in the corner. Technically it should be in the studio, but I really like to be the only one to use it.

Since I'm too lazy to go job hunting today, I just lie on my back in the studio staring at the paint splatter Claire and I accidentally made on the floor during our paint fight. I don't deserve her. "Michael? Michael? MICHAEL?" I continue to call until he appears in the doorway.

"What?"

"There's something wrong with me, right?"

"Ash, don't say that!"

"It's true. I mess everything up, right?"

"No!"

"You said going for Claire wouldn't be good for her. You meant I wouldn't be good for her, didn't you?"

"No! Ashton, please don't-"

"Of course that's what you meant. I'm not good for you either. I've already screwed up your life. I made you have to flee a country for God's sake!"

"You haven't screwed up my-"

"And I screwed up everyone else's life that I've ever known. I... Mike... Mike, I ended someone's life."

"It wasn't your fault that-"

"I was the one with the gun!" I scream. Hot tears are falling on the ground. I don't remember starting to cry. I don't cry. I'm not weak. I don't cry. "There's something wrong with me."

"No! There's nothing wrong with you! You need to just let go of everything that happened."

"But yesterday you said-"

"Forget what I said. Go for Claire."

"You said yesterday that if she finds out about what I did-"

"I said forget what I said yesterday! She's not going to find out. No one is going to find out, okay?"

I nod. I don't believe him though. Not for a second.

Claire's POV- Marie is still pissed. I can tell because she's in her room. She never hangs out in her room unless she's upset.

"Hey, Marie! Wanna have a Say Yes to the Dress and Four Weddings marathon?"

No answer.

"Or watch all of the Harry Potter movies?"

No answer.

"Pretty Little Liars?"

No answer.

"Barbie movies?" I cry desperately.

Still nothing.

"Look, I'm running out of options here!"

"Why don't you just ask Ashton?" her voice snaps after a while.

Ouch. The horrible part is I actually tried to call him before I talked to her. Wow, I'm a bad friend.

"I don't want to ask him!" I lie.

"You already did, didn't you?"

This time I'm the one who doesn't answer.

I expect her to scream at me, but to my astonishment she opens the door, laughing.

"I know. I look super desperate, don't I?"

"No! It's just... you haven't liked anyone in a long time! It's nice to see you coming out of your little cave again!"

I laugh with her, and we walk to the couch together. "So you're not mad anymore?"

"Oh, Claire. I'm always mad at you."

"I promise to try to be agreeable at your party tomorrow."

She smiles. "That's all I ask."

/////////////////////////////////////////////////

That night, there's a tapping at my window again. I open it and climb out to Ashton. "Hi!" I smile at him. He doesn't return it.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Something's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong! Okay?" he snaps. I recoil away. I didn't think he'd be mad. "I'm sorry," he says after a second, running his long fingers through his disheveled hair. "Everything's fine. I just needed to see you."

"Well, here I am."

"You look tired."

"Trying to get back on Marie's good side takes a lot of energy."

"Is she still pissed at you?"

"Nope!"

"Is she mad at me?"

"No!" I laugh.

"Okay, good. I'm kind of scared of her."

"I don't blame you."

We share one of those sweet silences again. A question burns in my mind, and before I can squelch it, it escapes my lips. "Um... Ashton? Where do we stand?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like what is... this? Is this like a 'you and me' or like a 'you............... me'?"

"What does that even mean?"

"Are we... um..."

"Are you asking if we're dating?" I press my lips together and nod. "Do you want to be?" My mind screams "YES", but my shoulders just lift in a shrug. "I think we should be."

"Me too," I whisper.

"So what does that make our 'ship name'? That's a thing, right?"

I laugh. "Clashton I guess?"

"Nah. It would be Clash."

"Why?"

"Because I think it's time you call me Ash instead of Ashton."

"Okay," is all I can say. My heart is beating so hard I'm shaking.

"Are you cold?"

"I'm okay."

"Come here." He pulls me to his side and wraps his arms around me. I reluctantly rest my head on his shoulder. He feels strong. He feels safe. I shut my eyes and let him protect me. From what? I don't know. All I know is he's here, and he's making everything okay.