the badass nerd

Belle: I found you

it's so weird. ever since Jake told me that story I've been wondering. I know it from somewhere, from someone, but why can't I remember? I hate falling out of that tree. it frustrates me that I can't remember that person. It must have been my best friend. my mother said he's the only one I never remembered, but why can't I see his face when I think about it? I sigh frustrated. 

'What's wrong dear?' my mom asks. she has been protective over me, eversince I moved back in with her. she knows about the Streets and she doesn't like it, but she accepts it's a part of who I am now. 

'before I fell out of that tree, I had a best friend. do you remember him?' I ask.

My mom frowns. 'ofcourse. he stayed here so many times. you had these cute names for each other. he Always called you Izzy and you called him Jayjay. that's what I remember. why do you ask?' 

I shrug. 'someone said something today and I don't know. I think it triggered something. is there any change you know where he moved to?' 

my mom shakes her head. 'no, I'm sorry sweetie. I don't think you will ever find him again. it has been so long' 

I think about her words. 'I have a dance battle later. do you wanna come?' I just change the subject. I don't want to talk about it anymore. 

'no sweetheart, you know I don't like it there' I nod my head. 'but it's just dancing' I feel a little disappointed, but I don't show it. this me doesn't show real emotions anymore. they're only used against you. 

'I have to call someone. I'll be in my room. say something before you leave okay?' and with that, my mom leaves the room. 

***

I feel great after the dancebattle. I'm sorry that one of my dancers isn't here, but I don't want to force anyone. they have a life outside the Streets and I respect that. 

I stop by my dad to leave my wig behind and change into my nerdclothes. I decide to walk home. I need the fresh air to think.

when I arrive there is a guy sitting on the porch. 'I'm sorry, can I help you?' 

'Izzy?' 

his voice is full of disbelieve. 'yes?' 

'It's me, Jay. don't you remember me?' 

I take a good look at the guy in front of me. his face looks slightly familiar, but that's all. 'No, I'm sorry'

'how can you forget your best friend?' he asks.

I look at him again. is this the best friend I forgot? he must be. he called me Izzy. Nobody does that. he puts his arms around me and pulls me in for a hug. I hug him back.

'do you mind telling me things about our childhood? I feel bad that I don't remember anything' 

he shrugs. 'yeah sure, but maybe tomorrow? It's late and I just want to celebrate for a moment that I actually found you' 

I nod. I can live with that. I stare into Jay's eyes for a second and I can't stop wondering how my best friend turned into someone that hot. and I'm talking about greek god- hot. even if I don't remember his face from when we were children, but I Always imagined him as this big nerd with braces and glasses or stuff. I don't know, this guy just doesn't look like someone I would have been friends with when we were younger. 

'is it okay for you if I sleep over at yours? your mom was okay with it?' 

I nod my head. 'yeah sure' 

***

I'm currently sitting in my bed thinking about Jay. he sees his best friend after 9 years and he just wants to sleep? I don't get it. I Always thought that if we found each other, we would stay up and talk for hours about our childhood and about things I should remember. he just wanted to sleep. something is not right. I start remembering stuff and the same day my best friend appears. that to much of a coincidence right? 

I sigh loudly. why do I have such a complicated life? why did people have to bully me? if they didn't, I would have never moved and I would have never turned into Beauty.

why did I have to fall from that tree? If I didn't, I would have never been in this situation right now wondering if the guy that claims to be my best friend, is actually my best friend. 

I notice that I keep complaining about the same stuff and I'm pretty tired because of that. I'm just going to sleep and tomorrow will be better. right?

right?