Born for Anarchism (On Hold)

Chapter Five:

At the cabin...

Alice's Pov:

"Come on, lets get you inside." Jax said as he tried to help me from the van. My instinct to take care of myself took over me and I shrugged him off. "I don't need taken care of, boy." I reprimanded as I jumped down, flinching as I winced in pain. "Jesus, Alice! I'm only trying to help, shit." he exclaimed as he threw his hands up in frustration, and stormed to the back of the van for the money and the guns. I slammed the passenger door, and stalked inside. I went to the fridge, grabbed a beer and went to the kitchen table. I slumped down in one of the chairs and let out a long sigh. Jax stomped through the front door with all the guns and cash, and made his way to the den in the back. I topped off my beer and went to the bathroom to clean up. I shut the door behind me, then faced the mirror. My brow was completely busted open. I let out a sigh and began to search the bag of medical supplies for liquid stitches. I found some, and quickly washed up my face, putting the liquid stitch on after it was clean. I wandered to the bedroom off to the left of the bathroom and found a bag of extra clothes. I dug out a white shirt that read "Son" and slipped it on.

After I got all cleaned up, I made my way back to the den where Jax was putting the cash into the wall safe. "Need any help, boy?" I offered as I leaned back against the desk. "No." I rolled my eyes. "Look, I'm sorry, alright? I'm not used to accepting help from anyone. I've been on my own since I was 13, I can't help it. I'm sorry, boy." I watched as he placed the last stack of cash in the safe and close it up. He turned to face me and sighed. "It's fine, I'm just not used to a woman being around and not constantly needing my protection or reassurance. This is all new shit to me. Plus, I'm positive Clay knew those guys would be there. I think he was testing you, which is part of why he wanted us here tonight. He didn't want Chibs to find out." "That's what he pulled you aside about before we left, I know. I wasn't the least bit surprised by this, I knew that was his intention. He had every right to test my abilities, Jax." I answered him in a calm voice. "Maybe, but it's still not right. You could have been seriously hurt, or killed." "That's highly unlikely. All my years in the British SAF and I've only been shot once, and that was when I was 15. I knew they'd be there, because I've been trained to know these things. There's no need to worry about me, boy. I really can take care of myself." He moved his eyes away from mine to floor, then nodded his head. I smiled, took his hand and kissed the back of it. "Cheer up, boy. You don't have to be a knight and shinning armor all the time." he returned my smile, slung an arm around my shoulder and we walked to the living room.

Later that night after a few hours of conversation...

Jax's POV:

"So, what'd you think when you found out your dad was alive?" asked her as we sat on the couch together. The last few hours I had learned a lot about her, things only her dad knew, some he didn't. Like the fact that she was raped daily, multiple times, by numerous men, until she was strong enough to fight back. She ended up killing the last one who did when she was 17, slaughtered him and everyone else after who tried. "I stayed calm. I was still in SAF, I had to be or they'd know I was gaining access to things I wasn't supposed to have access to. They would've killed me." "What's stopping them from killing you now? They have to know you found him and came here." "The thing with the British Army is once your out, you're no longer their problem. They don't care where you go, what you say or who you associate with, as long as you don't go after them. They don't care that I found out da isn't actually dead, especially since I'm not gunning for them for what they did to me, ma and da. I'm off their grid." she finished as she took a drink out of her water bottle.

I crossed my arms and let out a chuckle. "What, boy?" she questioned, confused by my laugh. I slowly turned my head, an amused look on my face. "You didn't tell me what you were thinking when you found out your dad, whom you believed was dead for almost 13 years, was actually alive. You had to have felt something, you can't tell me they cut off your emotions completely." I reasoned as I stretched my arms above my head. She sighed at my persistence, apparently thinking she could slip it by me. "Alright, you caught me, boy. I was so thrilled to find out he was really alive and well. But quite frankly, I wasn't surprised. I knew my da long enough to know he wouldn't have gone down without a fight as easily as they said he did. I questioned it, but never said it out loud, knowing they'd kill me on the spot. So, I kept what I knew under wraps, using what they had taught me to keep the wool over their eyes. As soon as I was out, I got out of Glasgow and went to Ireland and was there for about a year. I found out the rest while I remained in Ireland, and went from there. And as you know, da thought I was dead all these years too. I did my research on the club and made the plans with him, and here I am now."

I smiled at her, and she frowned at me. "Now what, boy?" "You." "What about me?" "You're vulnerability, it's astounding." she suddenly got up and walked towards the back bedroom, I quickly followed. "Alice, stop I-" "No, you stop." she yelled as she rounded on me angrily. "I'm not just some girl who's vulnerability is something you can prey on. I could kill you before you'd ever even know what hit you." I stood before her, expressionless. "Alice, I'm not trying to prey on your vulnerability. You're the last person I'd want to mess with, and I've only known you for a day. I just thought that slight flicker was...amazing. I mean, you were taught to feel no emotion whatsoever, and you showed it to me. It was a nice insight to who you really are, not who you were programmed to be. I'm sorry if I pissed you off, it wasn't my intention." I apologized as I crossed my arms over my chest, her stance mirrored my own. After a few moments, she let out her breath. "I'm sorry, boy. Da has been the only man I've ever opened up to, and I can't even be completely open with him, so this is new to me. But you asked, and I'm not one to lie when I'm one on one with someone I feel comfortable with." "You're comfortable with me?" I saw that vulnerability flicker across her face, then as quickly as it was there, vanish. "I'm going to be working side by side with you on a daily basis, I have to be comfortable with you if I'm going to trust you with my life when the time calls for it, and vice versa for you. If that means telling you things I've only told my da, or never told anyone, to create that trust, then I will. Alright?" she remained in her defensive stance as her pale eyes tore into mine. "Alright, Alice. Get some sleep, we leave in less than 4 hours for the club." I told her as I began to walk out the bedroom door. "Jax," I stopped and turned to face her. "Thank you." "For what?" I questioned, confused. "For not judging me as the emotionless killing machine that everyone else tends to see me as. Few people have ever done that. Thanks." she explained, letting her defensive guard fade away. "Goodnight, Alice." I said with a smile, she returned it and replied, "Goodnight, boy."