To Try Again | Divergent (DISCONTINUED)

Chapter 16

Tris POV

After my mom leaves, I turn to Tobias.

"I'm sorry," I blurt out before I can stop myself.

"No," he replies. "I get why you did it."

"Really?"

He nods. "Yeah, I do. I just couldn't stand to see you get hurt. You have no idea how hard it was to throw those knives at you again. I love you too much."

"I love you too."

————————————————————
That afternoon, I go back to the dormitory while everyone else spends time with their families and find Al sitting on his bed. He is starting at the empty space on the wall where the rankings hung. Tobias took it down yesterday so he could calculate our rankings for stage one.

I try to ignore Al, but his ragged breathing makes it makes it almost impossible. I inwardly groan and turn to face him.

"There you are!" I say as happily as I can. "Your parents were looking for you. Did they find you?" I know that question is pointless, but I ask anyway.

He shakes his head.

I sit down next to him on the bed with as much space between us as possible. My leg is half the size of his even now, after all the muscle I have gained. He has a bruise on his knee that is crossed with a scar.

I hesitate before I ask my next question. I want to avoid conversation with him if I can. "You didn't want to see them?"

"Didn't want them to ask how I was doing." That coward. I want to roll my eyes. "I'd have to tell them, and they would know if I was lying."

"Well..." I try to reason. "What's wrong with how you're doing?"

Al laughs harshly. "I've lost every fight since the one with Will. I'm not doing good."

"By choice though. Couldn't you tell them that too?"

He shakes his head. "Dad always wanted me to come here. I mean, they said they wanted me to stay in Candor, but that's only because that's what they're supposed to say. They've always admired the Dauntless, both of them. They wouldn't understand if I tried to explain it to them."

I wish that I felt bad for him, I really do. I mean, he won't even visit his parents because they would be disappointed in him. But that is exactly why I don't. He's a coward and knowing what I already know, doesn't show anything to make me think differently.

"Oh." I tap my finger against my knee and look up at him. "Is that why you chose Dauntless? Because of your parents?"

Al shakes his head. "No. I guess it was because... I think it's important to protect people. Like you did for me." He smiles at me and I tense by instinct, hoping that he doesn't notice. If he did, he doesn't acknowledge it. "That's what the Dauntless are supposed to do right? That's what courage is. Not... hurting people for no reason."

Or jumping into the chasm, I think to myself.

I don't say anything at all with this thought in mind.

"If I wouldn't be coming in last, I would say it may get better," Al says. "But we both know that I'm not going to make it past tonight."

We sit in silence for awhile, side-by-side, but not touching. My thoughts are on the rankings. I wonder how different they will be. I know that I will be higher than sixth this time. I didn't loose a fight.

I am snapped back to reality when Al slides his arm over my shoulder.

"I feel braver when I'm around you, you know?" he asks. "Like I could actually fit in here, the same way you do."

I freeze, feeling heat creep to my cheeks. I really wish that he felt differently than last time, but of course, luck isn't on my side.

I quickly stand up before he can get any closer.

"Tris... I," he stutters, his voice strained. His cheeks are red from embarrassment, and I know mine are too. "Um... sorry. I wasn't trying to... um. Sorry."

I take a deep breath before walking out without a word. I can't talk to him any longer. As I step outside of the dormitory, a realization hits me. A scary one at that.

Today is the day of stage one rankings.

Which means today is the day Peter attacked Edward.

Ughhh... it's so short and I'm sorry. I am having really bad writers block. If you have any ideas please let me know.