To Try Again | Divergent (DISCONTINUED)

Chapter 22

Tris POV

When I walk into the cafeteria, the smell of wind surrounds me. Shauna waves at me and I smile. I notice Christina and Will sitting at our usual table, gaping at me as I make my way over to them.

"Where were you?" Christina asks immediately. "What were you doing with them?"

"Uriah...you know, the Dauntless-born who was on our capture the flag team?" I say. "He was leaving with some of the members and he begged them to let me come along. They didn't really want me there. Some girl named Lynn stepped on me."

The only reason I'm talking like this is because of Will. If it were only Christina and I, I would let her know that I did it last time.

"Well," Will says. "You missed Christina punching an Erudite. Big mistake."

"Huge," I say, nodding. If I smile enough, maybe I can make them forget their jealousy, or hurt, or whatever is brewing behind Christina's eyes.

"Yeah," she says. "While you were off having fun, I was doing the dirty work of defending your old faction, eliminating interfaction conflict..."

"Come on, you know you enjoyed it," says Will, nudging her with his elbow. How did I never notice how much the two of them liked each other? "If you're not going to tell the whole story, I will. He was standing..."

As he begins his story, I don't pay attention. I nod along with him, having already heard this story once.

As I look at the Dauntless members flicking food into each other mouths, I find myself craving that.  I know that I belong in Dauntless. I've proven that.

But I want to live in Dauntless, not just be considered Dauntless, but technically be factionless. I want to get a job and an apartment. I want to hopefully marry Tobias one day, and raise kids who can choose their faction. I want to be Dauntless.

Which means stopping the war isn't an option. It is a must.

~~~

We're sitting in the hallway outside of the fear simulation room, and I think I'm more nervous now than I was last time. I have no idea what my fears are anymore. Do I still have seven? Less? More? I know that I'm no longer afraid of intimacy, but what else has changed?

My thoughts are broken by Lynn speaking. "So. Which one of you is ranked first, huh?"

"Um." I clear my throat nervously as Peter glares at me. "Edward is, but I'm a close second."

"The Stiff?" she asks, amused. Then she smirks. "Bet I could take you." She speaks casually as if it is the most obvious thing in the world. "I'm second also, but I bet any if us could take you, Transfer."

I laugh. Uriah speaks up. "I wouldn't be so sure about that Lynn. She's good. She could beat me and I'm first."

"Oh, I'm sure," she says to him. Then she looks me in the eye and says, "I've spent years preparing for this. You on the other hand. You have spent your entire life helping people. It makes me sick."

Anger bubbles inside of me at her comment. Not only did she insult Abnegation, but she insulted me in general. She has no idea what I have been through, yet here she is, thinking I can't do anything.

Before I can form words to throw at her, Tobias opens the door to the simulation room. "Lynn," he calls. He beckons her to follow him, and she shoots me a glare.

Will, obviously sensing the awkwardness, turns to Uriah and says, "So, you're first."

Uriah shrugs. "Yeah. And?"

"And you don't think it's a little unfair that you've spent your entire life getting ready for this, and we're expected to learn it all in a few weeks?" Will says, his eyes narrowing.

"Not really. Stage one was about skill, sure, but no one can prepare for stage two," he says. His eyes widen and he quickly stutters out the next part. "At least, so I'm told."

Our conversation turns to silence. The only sound that I can hear is my heart, beating rapidly inside my chest.

Tobias opens the door again to call out another name. "Peter," he says.

Each minute wears into me like a scrape of sandpaper. Gradually, our numbers begin to dwindle, and it's just me and Uriah and Drew. Drew's leg bounces, and Uriah's fingers tap against his knee, and I try to sit perfectly still. I hear only muttering from the room at the end of the hallway.

This time when the door opens, Tobias looks at me and says, "Come on, Tris."

I stand, my back sore from leaning against the wall for so long, and walk past the other initiates. Drew sticks out his leg to trip me, but I hop over it at the last second.

Tobias sets his hand on my shoulder and guides me into the room.

My breathing becomes heavy as I see the chair. I have sat in that chair so many times, but I still can't help the sweat that is building up.

"Sit," Tobias says. He gently pushes me to the chair. I wipe the sweat off my forehead as I sit down. "Tris," his voice is gentle. "It's okay."

"I know," I say. "I just don't know what's going to show up." I'm talking quietly in case there are cameras. I don't remember, and I'm to nervous to look.

"I know," he says. "But look, you know what to do. Remember, slow your heart rate and do not manipulate the simulation."

I nod, and he walks towards me with a syringe. As he brushes my hair back, he looks into my eyes. His tour does strange things to my body. Before he injects me he says, "I got the job."

I smile, but I don't reply. There's no point.

He gently sticks the needle into the side of my neck. As the simulation takes over, I hear him whisper, "Be brave, Tris. I love you."

Before I can reply, I am surrounded by darkness take over my vision.

A/N: Sorry for the filler, but the next chapter is more interesting. I promise. I posted three times in February. That never happens. Lol.

Go check out my new fanfiction "Break the Distance" and tell me what you think. :) Summary below. ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Tris and Four have been internet best friends for a long time. Tris lives in Alabama and Four lives in California. They met through Instagram and instantly clicked. But on their one year anniversary of being friends, Tobias decides to take things to the next level. Read to join Fourtris as they face the struggles of a long distance relationship. Will they meet? Will they be able to stay together with the 1,936 miles between them?

See you soon😉,
-Bree (Btw never so those words to me unless you want to see me cry.)