Mythlands: THE HEIST

Part Two: L is for Lucky

Future Hare looked at his men (and women ... mustn't forget Cottontail who was not only one of his women in a group sense but his woman also. She was his boo ... his bae or babe, what in the old days he would call his girl or his sweetheart, perhaps doll or sugarlips or ...)

'Hare?' Cottontail was giving him the look, her hands were on her hips and her right foot was tapping. God she looked sexy, his sweetie, his honeypie, his ...

'Hare! We're waiting!'

Future Hare's mind snapped back to the present - he had been about to address the troops ... goddamn, he was proud of them. His Rabbitz - in addition to his mirror image that he liked to think of as Young Hare, Goldie and the Gingerbread Man there were his gang of fellow bunnies ... he frowned. Bunny denoted something soft but these were hard as nails warriors, they were the vikings of rabbits, forged in the fires of ...

'HARE!!'

Cottontail pulled him back out of his thoughts, which had settled upon a picture of himself in viking attire holding a sword and shield, posed grandly on a hill, prepared for glorious combat with ...

'Hare, I'm warning you. You're doing that thing you do again.'

'What thing?'

'The thing you do when you're just about to address us but your mind wanders off and your face goes all funny, contorting to mirror your thoughts.'

'I was not!' Future Hare was affronted.

'Yes you were. You went all gooey eyed as you looked at me - you were mentally calling me bae again weren't you? And then you straightened up and your gaze became prideful but with a tear forming in the corner of your eye ... so you were doing your internal band of brothers monologue again, don't deny it!'

'I ... I ...'

Cottontail sighed. 'Look we don't have time for this. We've killed zombies, got past Ents, you've fought a demon with Bambi's help, we've snuck past the Evil Queen's territory, fought those giant tree spiders, skirmished with those dark elves and almost outpaced our pursuers. Now you need a volunteer to lead the mercs away as we follow Bambi the last half mile to the tree-line and make our rendezvous at the Babbling Brook!'

'Yes, but ...'

'So to save time let's skip the part where your gaze looks lingeringly over all of us, where you nod sagely to your other self while mentally calling him Young Hare, then the acknowledgement of Goldie and Ginger before you mentally review your pride in us Rabbitz. You've looked admiringly at me, given your band of brothers speech in your head and then you'll look at the others one by one and dwell on their qualities. Fast forward - Me, Fierce, Velveteen, Frank, Oswald and finally Wiley who'll you'll again nod at, thinking that while he isn't actually one of our kind, he is in fact like a brother to you and you view him as an honourary rabbit? Am I right?'

'Uh, well, yes ...'

'Good. Volunteer then!'

One of the Rabbitz stepped forward. 'It's gotta be me boss. I'm the fastest after you and your other self and I'm not as good in a fight as everybody else ... plus there's ya know, my thing.'

Cottontail concurred. 'It makes sense. Oswald's fast and lucky. He'll make it.'

'I'll make it,' the young rabbit reassured Future Hare.

FH nodded. 'You're a damn fine rabbit, son. I'm proud to have served with you ... you outrun them sum bitches an you meet us at the brook, y'hear? That's a goddamn order soldier!'

'Sir! Yes Sir!' Oswald the lucky Rabbit saluted fiercely and Future Hare, with his lit cigar still clamped between his teeth, returned the salute with manly pride, as Cottontail rolled her eyes and Hare looked on, bemused.

They waited ten minutes after Oswald had gone and then Future Hare shouldered his shotgun and turned to his troops. 'All right ya gold brickin yahoos, they're heading after Ozzie. MOVE OUT!'

'Shhhh,'

'Um sorry Cottontail ... Move out guys,' he whispered.