Stay (Disasters In Love: Book 1.5) (SLOW UPDATES)

Chapter 16

Ben
December 25, 2005

*

Four months later

*

I down the rest of my bourbon, enjoying the burn, even though I barely feel it. I barely feel anything these days.

Here I was hoping to celebrate Christmas with... her, but instead I'm alone.

So fucking alone.

And I still can't bring myself to even think her name. How fucking pathetic am I?

The answer is very. I am very pathetic.

I should have known she'd run again, but I guess I just thought we were past that.

We were in love.

Or at least I was. Obviously, she wasn't, not really.

Red tells me that she's miserable too, but that's hard to believe. Why would she dump me and be upset about it?

That makes no sense.

Red must be lying, trying to make me feel better, but it's useless since I feel nothing.

Wait.

That doesn't make sense either. Why would Red care how I feel? She's probably relieved that I'm no longer around... her.

Shit. What is going on?

This alcohol is making my head swim. nothing makes sense. I can't think straight. Which is perfect for dealing with my obnoxious family.

I'll just continue to glare and ignore everyone. That's been going well so far.

Or not.

But what the fuck do I care?

While I was thinking about rings and our future, she was writing a pathetic excuse for a rejection letter.

Well, fuck her.

Fuck everything.

I don't give a shit anymore.

"Hey, man." Nate gives me a sympathetic look as he sits in the chair directly in front of me, invading my sight with his stupid face. "Merry Christmas."

I choose to ignore his holiday cheer, just like I've ignored everyone else's. I don't feel like celebrating anything.

Of course he chose the smallest chair in the room, just so he could annoy me. He looks like a giant trying to sit in a kid's chair. Idiot.

He's probably trying to get a reaction, but he's not getting shit from me. 

Fuck him too.

"What the fuck do you want?" The permanent scowl on my face has worked on everyone but him. Asshole.

Even my mom left me alone. Damn, I should have tried this a lot sooner.

Her silence truly is golden.

"Well, okay Scrooge, no need to be a jackass." He sips his drink but doesn't leave.

Why can't he just leave me alone?