Stay (Disasters In Love: Book 1.5) (SLOW UPDATES)

Chapter 17

Kat
December 31, 2005

*

A week later

*

Right, left.
Right, left.

Don't think about him.

In, out.
In, out.

Don't think about him.

Right, left.
Right, left.

Don't think about anything.

In, out.
In, out.

I stop running to bend down and brace my hands on my knees. I ran a mile further than I normally do, but still my mind wanders to Ben.

I try sucking in a few calming breaths, but they don't help.

Nothing helps.

Standing again, I look to the heavens, hoping they might open up and provide some answers, or at least take me away from my misery.

I sigh, rubbing my temples. This run isn't clearing my head like I need it to. I just want to forget everything I ever felt for him.

No, that's not really true.

I don't want to, but I have to. I need to. Forgetting would make it easier to move on.

The impending New Year only makes me think about him more. That first kiss was electric. He woke me up even though I didn't know I was sleeping.

How can I ever get him out of my head?

I get the feeling that I'm being watched, but looking around, I see no one. I know it must just be my imagination, but it doesn't stop my skin from crawling. I feel jumpy and I decide to give up on my failed attempt to clear my head. I pathetically walk back to my dorm to shower, only checking behind me a few times.

I really hope that tonight I can actually get out of Vanessa's plans this year, unlike my failure last year.

Crap. Now I'm thinking about him again.

I try my best to ignore all the thoughts running through my head while I shower, but they seem to be even louder. I need to forget him, especially today.

As I walk out, drying my hair, Ness looks up from her textbook. "Hey, you about ready?"

"Ready for what?" I pretend to be clueless, even though we both know better.

"Hah hah. Very funny." She rolls her eyes at me.

I groan. "Can't I just stay home?"

"Sorry, but I'm all alone this year and you know I need you." Crap, now she's playing the friend card. I definitely can't back out now, she absolutely has to stay sober.

I sigh, knowing she's already won. "Okay, fine. Just promise me."

She smiles, even though she pretends to be annoyed. "Fine. I promise, he won't be there."

"You're sure?" I can't risk seeing him. I need to be careful.

"Yes. I'm absolutely sure. He is with Nate and they have something important going on, so they definitely won't be back tonight. I've asked, several times." She looks at me like she's completely exasperated, but I know she's happy to have any excuse to talk to Nate.