Hopeless I ; Phan ~ completed

~ Ch. 27 ~

~ Dan Howell ~

It all happened too quick. He's leaned over me, kissing my neck. It's not that I have a problem with it, it's just, moving fast and I'm unprepared.

Is there any way to be prepared?

God, I don't know what I'm doing. Am I ready for this? Is a relationship a good idea? Am I unknowingly ruining the dynamics of our friend group?

"You okay?" He mumbles quietly, breaking me from my thoughts.

"Uhm. Well. Yeah, but."

"Too fast?"

"I-it's not you. I just, don't know how this works. I don't know how to relationship and I don't wanna screw it up. I've finally got something good going and I just-"

"Hey, Dan. It's okay. You aren't gonna lose me, or anyone else. Just, talk to me, love. I can't know what to do if you don't tell me."

"This shit is hard. I thought it was easy. But emotions and feelings and shit- just ugh."

"Are you saying you don't want to?"

"No, it's worth it so far. I'm just letting you know, I'm emotionally unstable, and insecure and anxious, and depressed. So-"

"No one's perfect love. I've got just as many issues. But I wanna give us a shot, yeah?"

"Yeah. Just.. remember that I've never done any of this shit before."

"I got it. Don't worry so much, pretty boy."

~~~

I must've fallen asleep, because when I woke up, the bed was empty, and the sun was going down. I grab my phone from the nightstand and smile at the little sticky note on top of it.

Hey cutie,
Had to get home..
I was gonna wake ya,
but you looked too adorable and peaceful.
See you tomorrow pretty boy.
- no one

I groan into my pillow, my cheeks turning pink. "Why are you so damn amazing!?" I sigh as my heart does backflips.

I sure do hope we work out, dating or not, I really like him.

Doddle 🌻 - Howell? Can u come to the treehouse!!

me- what? U r back?

Doddle 🌻 - yes. I just got back.

me- uhm.. I guess? Idk.

Doddle 🌻 - well go find out. I need to know whats been going on

Doddle 🌻 - I missed u

me- its been 3 days clark

Doddle 🌻 - IK but sTilL

me- ok.

I sit up, looking down at the clothes I wore to school. "Oh well, I look like a wreck. What-e-ve-r." I sigh, standing up as the room spins, and my heart rate increases. "Fuck" I groan, my head pounding.

Doddle 🌻 - can you can you can you

me- idk dod, im not feeling great

Doddle 🌻 - oh come on.. please?

I sigh, grabbing my headphones and walking out and down the hall. I hear a faint groan from my sister's room and I bang on the door. "Fuck!" I hear her say quickly. "Y-Yeah?"

"What the hell is going on in there Poppy?" I shout, banging on the door again.

"I'm with a friend." She says annoyingly.

"Who?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

"Jake." She mutters.

"Oh for fucks sake!" I shout, groaning as I walk away from her door and out of the house. I refuse to be in the same house as Jake Paul.

Doddle 🌻 - u coming Danny?

me- yes. something. just. ew. fuck. why. me.

Doddle 🌻 - literally get here now.

Doddle 🌻 - we have a lot to talk about.

me- omw

~~~

I walk up to Dodie's treehouse and sit down with a sigh. "Dan! Ugh, I missed you." She says, hugging me.

"Missed you too Doddle, these past few days have been hell." I sigh, shaking my head.

"What happened. Tell me everything."

"Well," I start, not knowing exactly how to begin.

After an hour, and a lot of explaining, I got to where I sit as of right now.

"He.. Cut you? Then came over your house?"

"I'm pretty sure he got suspended for a week or something. But yeah, he came over to fuck my sister or some shit. God, that's so- Ugh."

"Ew. Actually ew."

"Yep."

"Okay, now Howell, don't lie to me. You and Phil.. Come on."

"I can't say." I look down, blushing.

"WHY NOT!?" She shouts, pouting.

"Phil doesn't want to tell anybody.." I mumble under my breath, but Dodie seemingly hears me quite clearly.

"YOU GUYS ARE DATING?" She shrieks.

"Yeah. But please don't tell him I said anything." I say softly, my cheeks turning bright pink.

"Oh come on, Mr. hickeys." She mutters, pointing to my neck. "Did you expect me to think anyone else did that to you? You are the self proclaimed unexperienced lil nerd. So, its a bit obvious."

"Okay. But still. Act surprised when we tell you. And for god sakes, don't tell Phil. I don't need drama."

"I got you pretty boy. Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me." She says, kissing my cheek. "Also. PHAN HAS BEEN CONFIRMED I AM LIVING."

"Phan?" I ask, giggling.

"Your ship name. Get over it, I've been shipping you two since I found out Phil writes the notes."

"I've been shipping it since day one, so I win."

"You don't count. Only people not in the ship can ship it."

"Not true. I ship Phil and I."

"But you're in the ship."

"So?"

"Of course you ship it."

"Ugh, whatever Doddleoddle."

"I still win."

~ 894 ~