Hopeless I ; Phan ~ completed

~ Ch. 64 ~

~ Phil Lester ~

Dan walks down the stairs and Dodie turns to me, "Okay, what's the plan, Lester?"

"Same notes idea thing, but it leads to a final present," I say, blushing already.

"And what might that be?"

"Well," I start, pulling out a little box. "I don't know if it's too much, or.."

She grabs the red box from my hand and opens it. "Oh my.. Phil, this is.. How'd you.. Get the.. How much was this?!"

"First of all, shush, he's right down there, and second, it took some time, but its worth it.. I think."

"This is so fucking adorable. You aren't proposing though, right? Cause that's a bit much, and I don-"

"Dodie, no," I chuckle. "But what do you think? Will he like it?"

"Of course. This is wonderful. Aw.. and with what he's getting you.."

"What's he getting me?"

"I can't tell you!" She shouts, pushing me.

"Alright fine," I smile at just the thought of his smile. "God, Dodie I'm a mess."

"What is it?"

"I'm helplessly in love with him," I sigh. "I've never felt this way about someone. He's just so, perfect for me."

"AW! Shut the fuck up," she smiles widely, hitting my arm.

"I'm not even sure I'm kidding anymore." I say, heart skipping. "I'd do anything for him. I mean that."

"I know you would," she nods. "So, when are you telling him?"

"Telling him what, Doddle?" I ask, grabbing the box from her and closing it.

"More?? About you!"

"He knows," I shrug. "some."

"He spills his life. What about you?" She asks, frowning.

"He gets my family sucks. He doesn't need details."

"I did," she says honestly, giving me a look.

"Doesn't mean he does. It'll only worry him more."

"Are you okay now?"

"You know I am. I told you Dodie, he helps. I haven't cut in a while, I've hardly even thought about it. I've got someone to live for. I know it sounds ridiculous, but he makes life worth it.."

"Its not ridiculous," she mutters, leaning over and hugging me. "Just, I want you two to be happy.. and stay together. I need you alive."

"I told you," I say, pulling away. "I don't plan on dying."

"I'm just making sure. You worry me, Phil," she shakes her head, pressing her lips together.

"Yeah, yeah," I nod. "You should probably worry about him. He's really starting to worry me."

"What happened?"

"Yesterday was rough," I sigh.

"What happened, Phil?" she repeats.

"He woke up at six from some nightmare when I was in the shower and came in having a panic attack. Nearly scared me to death. I didn't know what to do."

"Poor thing.." she frowns.

"He's been so anxious lately.. And I'm trying to help as best I can, I just don't know how.."

"Yeah, I noticed too. I wonder what's causing it."

"Me too."

"Hey. How about this, all of us to Dan's place, or mine, and we make the best of tonight and tomorrow?"

"Not a bad idea. I hope for once I have a good Christmas," I say, getting up.

"You will. You've got us this time."

We both climb down the ladder and I stand at the bottom, frowning in confusion. There's blood in the snow, and no Dan.

"Dodie..?"

"Where's Dan?"

"Inside maybe?" I suggest, trudging through the snow to Dodie's house. Dodie runs up ahead of me, stopping in the doorway. I catch up with her, soon realizing why she stopped.

There dan sits at the kitchen table, looking beat up, ice pressed to his jaw. "Baby what happened?" I ask quickly rushing over to him.

"What do you think," He mutters bitterly, not meeting my eye.

"How?"

"How's about I just don't explain. Cause I'm not really in the mood to relive that little moment. Kay?" He snaps, glaring at Dodie and I.

"Oh.. Kay," I nod slowly, looking down. "Sorry."

 Great, he's upset. I look over at Dodie, who shrugs with an uncertain frown. So Dodie and I pull up a seat in awkward silence, unsure what to do. 

"Are.. You okay?" Dodie asks softly after a long silence.

"I'll be fine. I just know my damn parents aren't gonna be too happy about it."

"They should be your last worry. Who cares what they say?"

"Maybe, me," he whispers, biting his lip and looking down at the table. "I just want one good day."

"Hey, not every day is bad," I say hopefully, frowning in worry. "There are good days."

"Good parts, bad days," he mutters, wiping his eyes. 

"I'm so sorry, Pretty boy.." I say, unsure what to do. "Is there anything I could do?"

"Hugs," he mumbles, opening his arms. I smile a little, leaning over and hugging him. 

"Love you," I whisper, kissing his neck.

"Love you too." He sniffles. 

"Now, can we please have some fun?" Dodie asks as I pull away, sitting in my own seat. Dan and I nod and she stands up. "We're staying at your place, then, pretty boy," she giggles, kissing his cheek as she walks by. 

"I guess so," he shrugs. 

"I'll get my stuff!" She shouts as she runs up the stairs. 

I smile at her energetic mood, giggling as Dan comes over at sits on my lap, leaning his head against my shoulder. "You'll be alright Angel." I mumble, kissing the top of his head. 

"I hope so."

Ten minutes later we're in my car, driving to Dan's place. Dodie in the back seat next to Dan and me driving. "Ya'll got a gingerbread house?" Dodie asks. 

"It's not made, but yeah," Dan replies. 

"Good, cause we're making it." 

"Sounds exciting," I say with a laugh.

"Very," she says, wrapping an arm around Dan and kissing his cheek. 

"Are you trying to steal my boyfriend, Dodie?" I ask, looking back at them. 

"Yes," she giggles. 

"Is it working?" I ask Dan. 

He blushes, giving me a look. "Yeah, Phil, we're over. I'm with Doddle over here." 

"I see how it is." 

~ 1004 ~ 

A/N - double update for the holidays !