Kenney: Still Waters Part 2

Chapter 59

Thursday night.

I went to mama's. I wanted to lay eyes on mama and my sisters one more time, and to find out what the fuck happened when they took Angel. Wallace was at the house when I got there. He had come back as soon as Charity called him. I mean, on the next flight. He wouldn't talk to me when I walked through the door.

And neither would mama.

Charity took me up to Sammy's room and closed the door behind her. She knew that was the only room in the house that mama wouldn't go in. But mama also wouldn't leave that room behind. She never changed the room, and she never would agree to move to another house. That was Charity and my meetup room. We always talked in there when we didn't want anyone else to know what we were talking about.

"Wallace thought maybe they did something to mama," she whispered.

I just looked at her.

"But...he..." she looked away from me and down at her feet. "He took her in the room and...checked her. He said it doesn't look like anything's wrong..." Her face turned red and so did mine. "She doesn't have any bruises or anything. But she won't talk about it. She doesn't remember it..."

The more Charity talked, the calmer I got. I had to keep it together until the job was done.

"Um...Kenney..."

"Yeah?" We stared at each other.

"She's ok." My sister read me and knew that I was already off the ledge. "She's ok, Kenney..."

I couldn't even think about it. I had to stay focused on taking care of Rico.

I nodded silently to let her know that I heard her.

"Are you ok?" she continued to read my face, my eyes. She was getting more upset by the minute.

"Yeah." I told her what she wanted to hear.

Then I just looked at her. None of us were ok, and she knew it.

"Charity...I have to go." Charity nodded. Her eyes were huge, but she didn't comment on what she had already seen in me. I looked at the door and then back at her. I took a step closer to her and put my hand on her arm. "Check the babies, ok? Make sure they're ok, too."

Charity looked horrified. That's the only way to describe the way she was looking at me right then.

I just nodded and walked toward the door.

"Kenney, wait." I turned to look at her. She just stared at me. She was wasting time. I had to go.

I went over to her and hugged her. Tight. She kind of froze up for a minute, because we had all stopped hugging each other a long time ago. Then she hugged me back.

"I love you, sis."

"I love you, too, little brother." She looked like she wanted to say more, but didn't, so I headed down the stairs.

When I got to the last step, I realized that mama was standing there watching me walk down, expressionless. I walked straight to her and put my arms around her. Wallace was in his chair watching the game, and the girls were on the floor in front of him, fighting over toys. He turned to look at me, and by the look on his face, I could tell that he wanted me to take my hands off of her. My own mama. He blamed me for this.

All of it.

And he was right. I brought it right to their doorstep. The door that Rico would never go in when daddy was alive, I left wide open. The thought made me tear up. But I didn't let mama go. I just hugged her tighter and closed my eyes. She hugged me back. When I opened my eyes, Wallace was still watching us, but he had a different look on his face. I couldn't read it.

I let go of mama and nodded to Wallace, and then headed for the door. I didn't hug the girls. I didn't even look at them. I didn't want to think about Angel. I looked at Charity right before I walked out, and then gave her a look and nodded toward Faith and Melissa. She nodded at me and then ushered the two babies upstairs. Wallace watched our silent exchange, and then stood up and followed me out the door.

He put his hand on mama's back on his way past her, like he was checking to see if she was ok after hugging me for so long. I just shook my head and kept walking. Then I stopped and turned around to face him.

"Hey Wallace...thanks for coming back."

He nodded. "That's what a man does, Kenney. He protects his family."

I nodded and turned to walk away again.

"Kenney," Wallace said my name like I had never heard him say it before. He said it like my father used to say it. With authority. Like I had to answer him. Nobody but Jazz and Rico ever talked to me like that. And Charity, when she felt like doing the big sister shit that got on my damn nerves. "Son..." He walked closer to me and put his hand on my shoulder. "Do you need me?"

He looked directly into my eyes and I looked right back at him. He didn't look away, either. And he didn't back down. He never did. He was about the only one. Did I need him? Yes. I needed a father to get me out of this mess. But I would never tell him that, because Jazz needed me more than I needed Wallace.

I just shook my head no and started to walk away again. He watched me go. When I turned back to look at Wallace, he was still watching me walk down the street like I was some little kid and he was watching to make sure that I got where I was going safely.

"Hey Wallace..." I called to him. "Pray for me." He nodded. "Pray for me and Jazz. We both need covering tonight."

He nodded again. "We always pray for you, son. All of you. Every single night. You know that."

I nodded at him, and then walked away.

I did know that.