Kenney: Still Waters Part 2

Epilogue

January 9

Dear Sammy,

I miss you so much. I know I haven't talked to you in a while. I been...busy. But that's no excuse. Charity said I should write you a letter. She said that she's been writing you every day for years and showed me the book that she keeps her letters in. How crazy is that? Before she told me, I never knew that's what she was always doing in your room. I thought I knew everything about her. I'm real proud of Charity, Sammy, and I know you would be, too. She's a junior at Texas Southern now, and about to marry that dude. Kevin Watson. He better be good to her, because if he's not...well, you already know.

Mama's good and Wallace is still holding them down for me. I'm real glad he's with her. With them. He's a good dude. A good father to Charity and the girls. I kinda...try to do what he does sometimes. But I would never tell him that. Don't tell anybody sis, but I do try to be like him sometimes. Like how he stays calm. And looks at the big picture. And I try to see the other person's side of things before I react to anything, like he does. And I still try to take care of my family, just like him and daddy...and Rico, too. But for now, up here, my only family is Jazz. Jasmine. Jasmine. I try my best to only call her Jasmine because it makes her feel...like a good person. I'll never understand that. She's always been a good person. The best person I know. But she still wants me to take her to church every Sunday. EVERY Sunday. I don't mind, because we should be going anyway, but it's like she's...just trying to make sure that she gets in. You know what I mean? I don't blame her. I hope I get in, too.

And I take her because it's the least I can do. She struggles every day with the past. And it's the least I can do to try to keep her here in the present, with me.

She takes real good care of me, Sammy. You would be glad. I try to take good care of her, too. As much as I can. But I'm in school now, so I can't really do it like I used to. I'm a math major because...well, you know. It makes sense. But I'm thinking about being an architect, like Wallace. That dude gets PAID. He took me to Chicago last year. Showed me the sky scrapers. They're HUGE. Even bigger than the ones in Houston. They're shaped all different kind of ways. He showed me all of the things that inspired him to become an architect. Said that he did an internship up there one summer while he was in school and never wanted to do anything else after that. When we got back to VA, I felt like a completely different person. I told Jazz that I would go to college.

And I did.

I'm glad she wanted me up here with her. I don't really know what I would be doing right now if I stayed in Houston. I'm not even too convinced that I wouldn't be up there with you by now, or locked up with Rico. I don't even want to think about that shit. Jazz lied to me to get me up here, Sammy. Can you believe that? Jazz NEVER lies. She said that she fought mama for me. And WON. What type of shit? JAZZ won? Sammy...you and I both know that's a lie. Jazz would have never beat mama in a fight. Mama's too tough. Like us. Jazz is soft. That's why niggas be fuckin' wit' her all the time. I'm glad I came up here with her, sis. She needs me to keep them off of her. Every night at the club some lame dude is tryna holla at her. I hate it. I hate when they even look her way because any one of them could be...just like Rico.

I know that's her type, too. And I know that she misses him. So I don't let NOBODY talk to her. I told security the same thing. Don't let NOBODY get close to her. The last thing we need is for her to get fucked up and...be stuck right back in that dumb shit again. I can't even deal with being around that kind of shit anymore, sis. I lose it. I hope...I never see a woman get fucked up in front of me again. I just wouldn't...handle it very well, Sammy. I know I wouldn't. ESPECIALLY if that woman was Jazz.