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———
Of all the years in his life, Judge lived in shadows. Every day, he feeds himself darkness as he stands at the back. With pallid body, pale face, wobbly knees and tired eyes, he cried freedom from the shadows as he wished to experience the warmth of light just for once. Gusto niyang umahon. Gusto niyang tumayo. Gusto niyang sumugal ng isang hakbang. Gusto niyang umalis sa dilim.
Malakas ang halakhak ng matandang Argon habang nakatayo sa harapan ng mga kaibigan nito. Hawak ng kaliwang kamay ang champagne glass habang nakaakbay ang kanang braso sa binatang katabi.
"I'm so proud of this young man!" The older laughed heartly. "He top-notched the entrance exam. I got a pretty good feeling of him acing law school in the future. After all, Akello never disappoints!"
"I wish my son was this competent and less of a pain in the ass. Nakakasakit sa puso, Raul."
"I see. He's a fine young man indeed!"
"Kanino pa ba iyan magmamana kung hindi sa ama!"
The old Argon immediately shook his head. "Akello isn't my son. He's my godchild and he's very smart— He's brilliant! I never regret treating him like my own!"
Napabalikwas si Judge nang maramdaman niya ang kamay ng inang marahang hinihimas ang likod niya. Napatingin siya rito at bumungad ang nakangiting mga labi nito.
"Let's eat, darling."
Judge tried.
God knows he tried.
Sinubukan ni Judge na umahon. Umalis mula sa lilim. Humakbang mula sa dilim. Huminga mula sa sakal. Ngunit sa tuwing aamba siyang umalis doon ay may roong pumipigil sa kaniya sa pag-abot ng liwanag.
"You are always a dissapointment!" Malakas na sigaw ng kaniyang ama habang nakayuko siya sa harapan nito.
"When will you ever learn your lesson? Kailan ka magtitino? Can you be more responsible like Akello? Mahirap ba iyon? Can't you do that?"
"Raul!" Saway ng asawa nito. Lumapit ang ina ni Judge sa kaniya at bahagyang tinapik ang balikat niya. "Tama na 'yan. Judge is still young! He will do great someday, in his own ways."
"His own ways?"
Furrowed brows and disgusted eyes, the old Arthur scowled, clearly wasn't convinced with the views he'd heard from his wife. "No! Pursuing music is the same as pursuing shit! Nakita mo ba ang ginawa ng batang ito roon, Mariana? Ni hindi nga magaling kanina. Nakakahiya—"
"Dad!" This time it was Jules— His older sister inserted the conversation. "Please stop that."
Totoo namang nagkalat lamang siya roon. He did shit a while ago. It's all done and there's no point to reason out. But the intense gaze of his father at him on that tiny stage with pang of disappointment vivid on his eyes and the appalling sense of dread creeping inside him, it weren't a great combination. He was so scared to mess up in front his family, especially in front of him... his father— But he was so scared that he indeed messed up.
