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In the process of healing, time would always be a huge factor. Time provides a safe space to self-reflect and wander through your vulnerability. Accept that you're wounded, you're in pain, you're suffering and you're vulnerable. It would take a lot of time. It may took years, years, years of wandering until you allow yourself to slowly come to face the loss and withdraw all the emotional energy you invested through the years, and move on. That's when you heal.
However, sometimes a deep wound would take more than just time to heal. In his case, time didn't heal him. How would it possibly be if he had lost his sense of time?
Somehow, he isolates himself where he was confined in a dark cinema and the memory of that certain moment in his life was on the screen playing in loop. It was like time stopped and he was stuck. He was hold on with the certain moment in his life that he wouldn't want to let go.
He was aware that it was cruel to torment himself like that, but how would he suppose to let go of the things that make him feel the sanity and solace everyday? Never. Judge wouldn't let it go.
"Hi mom."
It has been three years. Three summers have passed, she was still beautiful like fresh roses in a garden. She bloomed, yet just any other flower in the garden, even in a huge field... she withered. She lose her petals, one by one and die.
She died. Roughly three years ago.
"Damn, I m-miss you s-so much."
Ang maliwanag na ngiti nito na noo'y abot kamay lamang at hindi nakakulong sa apat na sulok na larawang nakasabit sa malungkot na dingding. Maging ang masiglang halakhak nito na naririnig niya sa bawat parte ng bahay at hindi nakakulong sa masakit na alaalang hindi niya kayang bitawan. Gusto niyang balikan iyon. Gusto niyang bumalik sa mga panahong iyon.
"Judge? Indeed, you came." A voice said from behind. "You came when you are told not to. Typical teenage deviance, do actions out of impulse and fun. Masaya ba Judge?"
"That's not it. I came here because Jules dragged me," he said. "Let's begin with the fact that this is the last place I wanted to see."
Judge didn't have to crane his neck to not know that it was Akello. Parang sa dalang na marinig niya ang boses nito ay gumawa na ng paraan ang utak niya para makilala ang boses ni Akello sa isang bigkas lamang ng salita— note that it was his inner undeveloped genius-ish brain cells were talking... explaining. Damn.
It was a simple dinner. They were seated in the table, quiet as a baby in deep slumber. No one dared to talk, maybe they didn't have the courage to do so. Parang tinitimbang ng bawat isa ang mainit na tensiyon sa pagitan nila. Tanging ang mahinang paggalaw ng kubyertos o di kaya'y mahinang tikhim mula sa kanila ang maririnig.
"A-ahm, h-hi?" Jules choked. It was fake, she was clearly getting their attention. Indeed, she did because there's nothing Jules couldn't do. She successfully got the attention she desired when they bestowed their eyes upon her.
