little things ; z.m

little things; 3

i think i'm just now realizing exactly how i love you.

;

The months dragged on and on whilst Zayn was on the X-Factor. I missed him more than I thought I would, but Violet and I had began to start talking more, and soon enough, we were hanging out every day. 

One particularly dreary day, we sat in my bedroom together in silence. "Are you sure?" Violet asked, her eyebrows knit together as she thought things over in her mind. I nodded, "it's been in the back of my mind for two years now. I never really thought about it, though. I'm kind of scared of it, if I'm honest with you," I said grimly, twiddling my thumbs in my lap. Violet reached her hand out and rested it on my knee. We both muttered, "affection," at the same time, laughing before becoming serious again.

"Are you scared of, ya know, rejection, or are you scared of yourself?" Violet asked, her brows once again knit together. I inhaled deeply and thought for a moment, "I honestly don't know. I feel like it would be weird and ruin everything."

Violet nodded in understanding. I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear as she thought carefully about her choice of words. "I'm not gonna say anything about it. I'll just let it go," I said, shrugging as I pulled my jacket on. Violet scoffed and rolled her eyes at me, I furrowed my eyebrows at her as I pulled on my socks. "Feelings don't just blow away with the wind. Feelings don't just evaporate, that's not how it works, Alyssa. Honestly, I thought you of all people would understand," said Violet as she stood and grabbed her jacket, pulling it on as well.

"I know that," I said, "but I don't have to fess up about it. I can do it, Red, believe in me," I said, smiling weakly as I got comfortable under my blanket. She narrowed her eyes at me and scowled before sitting on the foot of my bed. I looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to say something.

"I'm cold," she finally said. I laughed before making room for her under the blanket. She smiled at me before curling up under it, both of us stared up at the ceiling as we thought in silence. "Are you excited about seeing Zayn tomorrow?" she asked after a while of staring at the ceiling in silence. "Yea, I'm really excited. I've missed him a lot, and even though One Direction didn't win I'm still so immensely proud of him and the rest of the boys. Oh, I forgot to ask you, do you wanna go with me? Mrs. Malik has an extra seat and she said it wouldn't hurt for him to have another friend there," I said, my eyes following the fan that turned overhead.

"I'd love to go. Even though I'm not close with him, I'm proud of him too," Violet replied. "Fantastic. I'm really excited to meet the guys in person, Zayn talks about them a lot. I've talked with them over facetime quite a bit but it's not the same," I said, Violet nodded in agreement. 

"This summer hasn't been the same without him," I said glumly, my eyes moving from my ceiling to my bulletin board, my eyes swiftly scanning over the pictures of Zayn and I over the years. "You know, growing up I always wanted a friendship like your's and Zayn's," said Violet rather suddenly. I laughed slightly, "our friendship is far from perfect, believe me," I said, yawning a bit.

"We should go to sleep, we don't wanna be tired tomorrow. Goodnight," said Violet as she leaned over and turned the lamp off. "Goodnight," I replied before turning over on my side, consumed by the warmth of my bed, I fell asleep almost instantaneously, being sucked into a world of dreams.

* * *

We pulled into the parking lot, my nervous eyes darting around, trying to find the boys. My eyes landed on the back of Zayn's head, I immediately  smiled to myself. I practically jumped out of the car while it was still moving, sprinting towards the figures that stood on the other side of the parking lot. Zayn whirled around to see me, a smile immediately spreading across his lips. He sprinted to meet me the rest of the way, I literally jumped into his arms in the middle of the street. He spun me around as I buried my head in his shoulder, happiness overwhelming me. My legs were wrapped around his torso, his family and Violet still hurrying over from the car. I jumped down from his arms and walked over to the sidewalk with him before resuming the suffocating embrace.