little things ; z.m

little things; 4

you still give me butterflies

;

i felt his steady breath on my neck as i slowly moved my arms to embrace him. he swayed slightly at my touch, my heart hammering against his as we stood rooted to the spot in an embrace that enclosed me completely. i felt at home. shivers ran down my spine as he gently kissed the top of my head, my knees growing weak as he moved his arms to wrap around my neck. he twirled his finger in my hair and began playing with it, causing me to laugh into his chest. he pulled away from the embrace and stared intensely into my eyes, it felt as if he was exploring my soul as i gazed into his gentle, brown eyes that sat just inches from mine. he leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to mine. my breath hitched at my throat and my knees gave away, my mind exploding into mental fireworks at his gentle touch.

I suddenly sat bolt upright, still overwhelmed by the world of my dream. My breathing was heavy, my eyes wide, my chest rose and fell as I panted for breath. I leaned back against my elbows, my head spinning with busy thoughts as I explored every possible situation for the reason why I was dreaming about him. Although it seemed ridiculous is so many ways, it felt right, as if it was a moment I'd revisited even though I don't remember the incident happening until now.

I sat thinking the entire morning before I finally realized I had to say goodbye to Zayn today. I exhaled sadly and sat for a moment, allowing my hair to fall in front of my eyes although I barely noticed. I swung my legs over the side of my bed and stood up, immediately walking over to my closet. I examined every shirt closely before flicking to the next hanger, as if what I was going to wear was a life or death situation. I finally decided on a plain black polo shirt, the huge, comfortable life guard pull-over hoodie I'd stolen from Zayn, and a pair of ripped denim jeans. 

I slipped into my outfit before swinging my door open, the light breeze from my door flying open pushing my hair out of my eyes. I walked slowly and quietly toward my bathroom, hoping not to wake anyone. I quickly ran a brush through my long locks before I threw it up into a sloppy ponytail. I carefully brushed my teeth as I slipped my socks on, I slid back to the counter, still brushing my teeth. 

I skipped down the steps, both of my hands pocketed. I grabbed my converse and took a seat on the bench near the door, I quickly slipped them on my feet and tied the laces. I'd gotten my license in December, so I was now allowed to drive my mother's car. I quickly snatched up my phone and car keys, I paused a minute, mentally checking everything I needed off. I nodded to myself before grabbing the door handle and opening the door. The cold February breeze whipped against my face as I walked to my mother's old Toyota and unlocked it. I could see my breath a few inches away from my face, my ears and nose quickly numbing from the cold. 

I scrambled inside the van and shoved the key into the ignition, turning it on immediately. I turned up the heat in my attempt to get warm before setting my phone in the cupholder beside me. I pushed lightly on the gas pedal and steered myself out of the driveway carefully, making a left turn toward Zayn's house. I hummed and drummed my fingers on the steering wheel as I drove, relaxing into the seat behind me. 

I took a deep breath as I pulled into Zayn's driveway, my head spinning as I pulled the key out of ignition. I slowly stepped out of the car and walked up to the front porch. I sucked in my cheeks, my hand resting on the doorknob. I slowly turned it and opened the door quietly, allowing myself in as per-usual. Doniya smiled weakly at me as she passed me on her way to the stairs, I returned the smile before entering the deserted kitchen. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until I saw the cereal, I thought it over for a moment before grabbing a bowl from one of the upper cabinets and pouring myself a small bowl of Cheerios.