The Red Strings Of Fate //✔️//

15 | The Abandonment

There are days when Reese wonders what it feels like to be in love again. There are also days where she wonders if she's actually in a requited love because there's no pain and no petals. Today in particular, Reese can't remember the feeling of being in love and it's odd to say that she misses it, but she does. Strangely enough, Reese has learnt to differentiate the emptiness she feels. Reese keeps her eyes on the blank white ceiling and absently runs her hand across her chest, feeling the bumpy ridges that have been left behind by the illegal surgery to remove the Black Rose that once grew inside of her lungs.

It feels very much like a battle scar and Reese's proud of her victory. She's seen countless people lose to hanahaki and it's not shameful to lose but Reese is still proud of all the time she's managed to win. The people that lose probably love more than Reese does and that's okay too. It has taken some time but Reese has learnt that her life doesn't revolve around romantic love and she's accepted that she can go on without it.

But the memory of her leaving Yale university right after the surgery had hurt her the most. That was the biggest thing in all of the other things in the past she was not proud of. The removal of Hanahaki was the only thing she was proud of because for once she felt free, for once she felt the burden on her shoulder was finally lifted off. But the chaos that ensued with the removal of Hanahaki was beyond the worst thing imaginable, the memory alone was enough to send Reese into deep thoughts of what she could have done better. One thing that didn't change after the removal was the constant negative thoughts she got.

.

It was the sounds that came to register in Reese's mind first, the sound of surgical instruments clattering noisily and the shuffling of a footstep in the distance, then the strong smell of copper and iron hit her nose along with the smell of disinfectant. Blood. Blood smelt like copper and iron. Reese scrunched her eyes at the bright light that had trickled its way through her closed eyelids. She felt powerless, exhausted, drained and heavy. At first her body felt quite numb and slowly she regained control over it. She slowly started blinking, desperately trying to open her eyes and lifted her upper body up till she was sitting upright with her back hunched over and her head hung low from the residue of anaesthesia. Taking a sharp breathe she took in her surroundings, the gauzes soaked in blood were strewn all over the floor. A small table was located onto the right where blood-stained surgical instruments and fresh gauzes was laying on top idly, but apart from blood everywhere, what caught her attention was a trash bag that kept in the corner on the room. Reese curiosity took over her and she sluggishly threw the crimson stained blanket over her and swung her feet over the bed to stand on the cold floor. Ignoring how cold the floor was, she padded over to the trash bag and peeked inside it, despite the dull lighting, the content inside the trash bag was clear and identifiable. She put her hand inside and grasped tightly on to the moist mass and pulled it out roughly. Black rose petals fell out of the bag as the moist content came into the dull lighting and revealed it to be thick root of a plant covered in blood. More specifically, the root of a rose covered in blood. Reese didn't react act all, she simply dropped it onto the floor and stared at it, her face was void of any emotions.

Vanessa stepped inside the room to find Reese standing over the spilled contents of the trash bag. "Oh. You're up." Vanessa looked at her with wide eyes and mumbled softly, "You need to be in bed resting, Reese. Any movements could tear your stitches." She spoke monotonously and Reese could detect that something was wrong.

"What is it Vanessa?" She asked.

"Nothing...do you feel anything different at all?" Vanessa muttered, this time unable to look at Reese.

Then it hit Reese, she didn't feel anything, nothing at all. She wasn't shocked or disgusted when she saw the roots of the flower coagulated in blood like any normal person would have been. Those were tell-tale signs that she didn't feel a thing and lost her emotions.