Haven • H.S.

15. Have You Ever Been in Love?

Haven- 15

"...you're a doll, you are flawless. but i just can't wait for love to destroy us. i just can't wait for love..."

Ella.

        There was a sense of greed, and passion in the the way his lips crushed against mine, and nothing about the way he lifted himself back up for his hands to roam my hips, thighs, or face was slow. It was as if he couldn't possibly take enough of me, as if he didn't believe I was actually here. I didn't blame him; I was having a hard time believing that same thing. That just moments ago I'd agreed to be his.

        It surprised me to no end that I didn't have any immediate thought that this seems too soon, or a nagging one such as, I don't really know him all that well.

        Because there's this thing called time. And I believed us, as humans, don't always have a lot of it. So, why waste the precious gift on something other than spending it with the people you found worthy of it? I knew first hand that we didn't know what could be right around the corner or right in front of our faces. It just wasn't the way life worked, and we could complain all we wanted, but then... what good would that do?

        None of those things seemed to matter, though, because I was the happiest I've ever been whenever I was in Harry's presence. That can't just be over-ruled. It can't be ignored, because no matter how many times I tried to deny it, he was something ridiculously special, and I was so grateful that I was even a part of his world. If he had self-doubt that his life may not be squeaky clean, or that it has no room for someone like me, I was going to make it a mission of mine to prove him wrong of that.

        Soon, I'd prove him that I'm the lucky one in this.

        It was an eye-opener for me the other night; I'd felt some pretty pathetic feelings. Ones that I felt ashamed of at that moment, such as how much I actually found myself missing Harry, when I really shouldn't of. I mean, the guy looking into my eyes right now, reading me, like I even now knew he was so good at, was a massive part of my life already. And he'd barely even been in it.

        This was just the start.

        "What are you thinking of?" Harry's whisper brought me out of my reverie. He looked worried. Maybe he thought I was rethinking my decision, or that I was suddenly realizing the kind of person he thought he was. I didn't know how to begin telling him he was something precious.

        I brought my hand back up to touch his cheek gingerly. I loved the small yet rough patch of whiskers that had grown in since I last saw him. Maybe he didn't feel up to shaving, maybe he felt just as much like shit as I had.

        A bucket of ice-cold guilt was thrown on me when I finally took the time to see the dark bags under his eyes, and the look in them that still hasn't fully gone back to what I remembered. I'd done that. I'd brought him to that state all because I waited too long, waited too long to come to my senses. And I didn't deserve for him to deal with all this so well. I didn't deserve for him to take me in his arms without fight, and instead of yelling at me, asking me to be his girlfriend.

        He had no idea just how much of a good person he was. You didn't need to look hard to find the gentleness in his words when he spoke, or the soft look in his eyes when he was watching you, unaware that you knew of his sneaky observation.

        He was the best kind of man. He was the best kind of person.

        I cleared my thoughts as I cleared my throat. His warmth was my own little cocoon as he stayed laying on top of me in the most gentle way, careful not to push down too hard. "You," I answered his question simply.