Haven • H.S.

34. Fallacious

Haven- 34

"...did i disappoint you, or let you down? should i be feeling guilty or let the judges frown? 'cause i saw the end before we'd begun. yes, i saw you were blinded, and i knew i had won..."

Harry.

It was far too early the next morning when I woke to the pounding of fists on my front door. And maybe if Kane had held himself back from going home with the first pair of tits he laid eyes on last night at the Halloween party, I would leave the duty of opening the damn door to him. Because, let's face it; I was in no fucking shape to walk on jellied legs and pretend the first sign of light didn't make my head pound.

Sure, I didn't go to the costume party, but that didn't mean I hadn't gotten shit-faced in between hating myself and falling asleep (still hating myself).

"Fuck," I groaned, rolling over to the cold sheets on the left of my bed. I fucking hated that they were cold.

"I'm coming!" I yelled, immediately wincing afterwards, pushing my thumbs to my temples. Flinging the covers away, I limped to the door. "You can fucking stop knocking now!"

Whipping the wood open, I squinted toward the silhouette. Abby stopped mid-pound and let her hand fall to her side. "Damn, finally," she muttered.

"Excuse me?" I forced out.

"Listen, I get that this is kind of unconventional and the knocking was a bit much, but you're practically dead lately so I figured it was needed. Not to mention I'm the last person you expect to see or want to see, but I think you should have this. I can't believe I didn't see it earlier, but it explains everything," she rambled, and shoved a small, square piece of paper into my chest. I caught it before her hand retracted.

"What's this?"

She waved a hand toward it, saying silently, just look.

I felt like rolling my eyes. I refrained; that would've been a middle school move. Ella's roommate was acting weird, but then that was true fashion for her, and I kind of didn't expect anything less. I just wished I didn't have a pre-conceived hatred toward her for waking me up the way she had.

Jesus, everything was aggravating me these days.

Fuck. I peeked. And then, suddenly my headache turned into a migraine.

Family emergency. Call if you need anything. It was Ella's perfect fucking penmanship and it was the ache in my gut that returned, too familiar, at the sight. I didn't know what hit me the hardest; the loss I still felt so fiercely I swore I could touch it; or maybe it was the craving to kiss her senseless, and wondering if I'd make it a punishment or a reward.

Last night, under the influence, had been too peaceful. I knew it wouldn't last.

She'd left a note. For who? For me?

Family emergency. Family emergency. Family emergency.

I didn't know how long I stared at the piece of paper that successfully stripped me apart and taped me back together, but I knew of Abby's footsteps descending and the click of Ella's door. She was gone, and I was still in the hallway.

Why did this add to the pain? If I could hop inside Ella's brain for a mere minute maybe I'd have a better hold on what she was thinking, or even the case of unfortunate events with her family that led her to flee. Without telling me.

Why didn't she tell me? She had so many opportunities, and still, I was left in the dark while simultaneously pouring every last ounce of my heart out. And despite my ever incessant urge to hate her for this, now more than ever, I couldn't. Because, fuck, is she okay? Is she hurt? Was she close to the family member? I loathed to think that she felt even a fraction of the sadness that I felt.